Many people ask me how they can communicate with more confidence when they speak. They ask if it is a matter of vocabulary choice, of speaking louder, or dressing in a new suit. Today I would like to give some advice on that subject to you my readers.
First things first – understand that effective communication is not just about one aspect of communication. It is not enough to just start using “power words” and expect everyone to bow down to your great communication skills, and give in to your new sales pitch.
My company name says it all: 3V Communications. You need to evaluate how you are communicating verbally, vocally and visually. Here are some techniques to use to help you speak confidently:
Verbal:
Do so-called power words help? Sure. It is always a good idea to have a deep vocabulary so that you can chose the correct word to give your speech or conversation a concise meaning. The key is to have a word or phrase that is presented simply, yet it is powerful. Do not ramble on trying to impress someone with your vocabulary and your knowledge of business lingo. Short and concise will produce a confident result. Also use strong, more committed words like “yes”, “will”, “able to”, “100%” etc. and use superlatives as well. For example:
“The United States is 100% committed to protecting its citizens from terrorists.”
“Toronto is the most multicultural city I have ever seen.”
“Cubans are the best salsa dancers in the world.”
Vocal:
Speak loud enough to be heard by everyone, without yelling. Speak from your diaphragm, which is an old actors’ technique. Speak to the person at the back of the room. When you are speaking confidently you must speak at a medium pace that uses appropriate and dynamic stressing of your key words. We should also add eye contact and body language gestures to match our stress and intonation.
Examples of important stressing:
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Too plain and not enough feeling)
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Too much emphasis on you and your company’s desires. Could come off as pushy.)
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Much more rhythmic and dynamic when spoken with a firm but friendly voice, and is balanced as well.)
Visual:
Visual communication makes up the biggest chunk of our intended feeling and attitude that is conveyed. To show confidence you must have great posture, use lots of eye contact, smile often (when appropriate), have hand gestures that are in sync with your verbal and vocal communications, and you must know how to dress for success. You must understand first and foremost which clothes look and feel best for your body type (i.e. not too tight, not too baggy) and you need to be dressed appropriately for the occasion.
If you are wearing an item of clothing that you have had for 5 or more years, think very carefully to yourself how others view it before you wear it again. It is important to realize that some people out there, particularly in the business world, have a keen sense of modern fashion and will judge you based on that if they see you are wearing a splashy tie, baggy slacks, scuffed shoes, a shirt with a collar that is the wrong size, shoulder seams that rest on your biceps, etc.
For women they also need to be aware of outdated fashion, wearing huge shoulder pads, wearing hair and make-up styles from the 1990s, heavy perfume, and once again not wearing body type-appropriate clothes.
Since I am not a fashion expert I will simply tell you that there are a number of fashion websites, blogs, books and magazines available as well as image consultants, should you need one. Most people don’t, fortunately, if they listen to their trendy spouse or friend. I myself have gone through a number of changes in my dress over the last few years, all for the better I assume, because I listened to my fiancée/wife.
If you are not sure how confidently you are coming across, maybe it is time to ask someone you trust to review your 3Vs and see if there is any way to speak and be seen with more confidence. If you need me, just let me know.
All the best,
