Author Archives: Coach Ric

About Coach Ric

Communication Coach and Corporate Trainer. Founder and President of 3V Communications. Program Advisor and Instructor at YEDI - the York Entrepreneurship Development Institute. York U instructor. NCCA Canada Director. Background in sociology, psychology, NLP, body language analysis and TESL. MBA. BJJ Purple belt. Forever Star Trek fan. Toronto-based but not bound.

How to Deal With Classic Chinese Negotiating Tactics | chinafilmbiz 中国电影业务

How to Deal With Classic Chinese Negotiating Tactics | chinafilmbiz 中国电影业务
By Robert Cain for China Film Biz
September 3, 2012
While preparing recently for negotiations with a Chinese distributor that wants to acquire a film I’m producing, I found myself nodding in agreement with advice offered by attorney Steve Dickinson in an article he wrote for the Harris Moure law firm’s ChinaLawBlog. Dickinson describes several business negotiating tactics that are often used by Chinese businesses to win major concessions from their foreign counterparts, and he sets forth a few rules foreign companies can follow to counter those tactics.
With permission from Dan Harris of Harris Moure, I have summarized several key points from Dickinson’s article below.

In negotiating with Chinese companies, we often see the following tactics from the Chinese side:

  • The most common tactic is for the Chinese company to seek to wear the foreign side down. This approach has two variants. In the first variant, the Chinese side relentlessly introduces new issues as quickly as old ones are resolved, resulting in an endless negotiation. The second variant is for the Chinese side to make wildly unreasonable demands and then increasingly resist the objections and counter-proposals of the foreign company. Both variants are designed to wear down the foreign side in a war of attrition until they become exhausted and finally capitulate to the Chinese side’s demands. Successful use of this strategy relies on the foreign negotiators’ disadvantages with regard to time and expense. The foreigners are typically busy people with too much to do and who rely on costly attorneys to do much of their bidding, while the negotiators on the Chinese side are relatively low-paid functionaries who have no other job but to instigate and manage such endless negotiations.
  • Another effective tactic is the artificial deadline. Under this approach, at the very beginning of the negotiating process the Chinese side sets a fixed date for a public signing ceremony, at which high-level officers from both sides will participate amidst much pomp and circumstance. The date is set far enough in advance to ensure that parties negotiating in good faith would reasonably expect to reach an agreement. But then the Chinese side ensures that no agreement is reached,  either by engaging in re-negotiations and other delay tactics, or by refusing to concede on key points. Then, just a day or two before the signing ceremony, the Chinese side announces that the contract must be revised on one or more key issues in a way that entirely benefits the Chinese side, often because of some eleventh hour “emergency” in the form of a demand from a “government regulator” or an outside source such as a bank or insurance company. The Chinese side explains by saying, “we don’t want to go back on our word, but these other folks have forced us to do this.” Again, the plan is that the combination of the pressure of the impending signing ceremony and the general fatigue of the negotiators will result in a crucial concession favoring the Chinese side.
  • A third technique is for the Chinese side to revisit the key issues after the contract has been signed. In this strategy, after much negotiating the Chinese side signs a contract, conceding on the key issues. With the negotiation now behind them, the foreign side’s key negotiators, advisors and lawyers move on to work on other projects. After the agreed project has been started, and the foreign side has committed its people, funding, and other resources, the Chinese side then announces that certain key provisions of the contract must be changed, again, usually claiming this change is mandated by law, government regulators or banks and insurance companies. The only foreign personnel left at this point are the ones responsible for the project’s success, who have a strong incentive to allow for the change so the project can proceed. Often, these people do not fully understand the implications of the change the Chinese side is now demanding. They typically present the change to busy upper management as a minor technical revision and it gets signed. Everyone remembers how the initial negotiation was so troublesome and nobody wants to bring in “legal” to start the process over again.

Though crude and obvious, the three tactics work wonderfully well, so Chinese companies can be counted on to employ them. There is one simple antidote for each tactic:

  1. If the Chinese side uses the “wear ‘em down” technique, the foreign side should simply refuse to participate. The foreign side should firmly state its position and not bend unless and until the Chinese side agrees or at least moves closer to the foreign side’s position.
  2. Never agree to a fixed signing date. Make it clear that the signing ceremony will be scheduled only after the contract has completed final negotiations. Never allow the Chinese side to use a deadline as a tool. This seems like obvious advice, but we see the rule constantly violated. Chinese companies love signing ceremonies and foreigners fall into the trap because they do not want to cause offense at the start. The Chinese have contempt for a sucker, so refusing to go along on this obvious technique will not cause offense: it will instead earn the respect of the Chinese side.
  3. Make it clear that there will be no changes to the contract after signing and any attempt by the Chinese side to change the contract will be treated as a material breach, leading to termination and a lawsuit for damages. Chinese companies are well known for using the signing of a contract as the start of a new negotiating process, not the termination. If the foreign party is willing to accept this approach, then a clear procedure must be instituted on the foreign side that brings back in the legal and China advisory team. The neutral players on the foreign side must make the decisions. The decisions should not be made by the foreign side players who have already become committed to the project.

When faced with the difficulties of language and cultural barriers, we sometimes forget ourselves and allow for tactics and behavior that we would never tolerate in our home territory. Bearing these simple rules in mind can help to reduce the frustration of a prolonged, seemingly unfair negotiation.
Remember too that your Chinese counterpart may have very different motivations than yours and a different context for the negotiation. I have sometimes found myself seeking a harmonious, “win-win” resolution only to learn that the Chinese side was operating under a “winner takes all” strategy.
As Henry Kissinger wrote in his superb book “On China,” Chinese statesmen have a long and successful history of dealing with foreigners, one that is informed by the writings and teachings of such brilliant strategists as Sun Tzu, author of The Art of War:

To Sun Tzu… the successful [negotiator] waits before charging headlong into battle. He shies away from an enemy’s strength; he spends his time observing and cultivating changes in the strategic landscape. He studies the enemy’s preparations and his morale, husbands resources and defines them carefully, and plays on his opponent’s psychological weaknesses—until at last he perceives the opportune moment to strike the enemy at his weakest point. He then deploys his resources swiftly and suddenly, rushing along the path of least resistance, in an assertion of superiority that careful timing and preparation have rendered a fait accompli. The Art of War articulates a doctrine less of territorial conquest than of psychological dominance.

I’m not suggesting that every Chinese negotiation should be viewed as a battle of life and death. But neither should a foreign negotiator assume that their Chinese counterpart shares similar motivations, values, or business ethics. Anyone can and should benefit from Sun Tzu’s sage advice, that foreknowledge and preparation are crucial to a successful outcome.
Robert Cain is a producer and entertainment industry consultant who has been doing business in China since 1987. He can be reached at [email protected] and at www.pacificbridgepics.com

Beware of Your Body Language in International Business

Beware of Your Body Language in International Business

“Beware of Your Body Language in International Business”  – Business without Borders, Globe & Mail, July 31st, 2012 – Communication Coach & Body Language Expert Ric Phillips is interviewed to discuss body language and gestures for Westerners to be aware of while doing business overseas.  We specifically looked at China, Japan, Thailand and Russia, areas I have travelled to and/or worked in.  There is an article as well as a 2 minute video here:  http://www.bwob.ca/topics/administration/beware-of-your-body-language-in-international-business/
You may have to sign up for a free account to view the article and video.  I apologize for that in advance.
Thank you!

(UPDATE:  the link above does not send you to that article and video – they have expired.  It sends you to a general Globe & Mail webpage with online videos.)

Don’t Be Gormless! Gen Up on British Slang | Visit Britain – Shine from Yahoo! Canada

Don’t Be Gormless! Gen Up on British Slang | Visit Britain – Shine from Yahoo! Canada
Communicating when you travel to Britain should be easy. After all, it’s an English-speaking country. But you will quickly discover nuances of the language that could catch you off guard (and make it all too obvious that you’re not familiar with British culture). Not only can the accent be difficult to decipher for an unaccustomed ear, slang terms and phrases sometimes make you feel as if you need an English-English Dictionary.

For example, if you need a washroom in Great Britain, you might be better off asking for the loo. To report a stolen wallet, you’re going to want to talk to a bobby. If you’re sweet on someone and looking for a kiss or a bit more, across the pond you’re looking for a snog, and if you’re engaged, you’re busy. Chuffed means pleased, while cheesed off means peeved.

A lorry is a truck, and if one cuts you off in traffic, you may hear more colourful swear words than the four-letter invectives we use. A welly is a rubber boot, but “give it more welly” means putting in more effort or going faster in your car.

Most of us know “cheerio!” as a cheerful greeting or parting word (like the Hawaiian “aloha,” it can work in both directions).

But how many of us understand that when looking for a tailor-made suit, you should ask for bespoke, and a bird isn’t just a flying animal, it’s also a slang term for a woman? Knowing a few simple phrases and words may not seem like much, but when you’re out on the town and chatting with local blokes (guys), it can keep things from going pear-shaped (that is, very wrong) because of how gormless (clueless) you’re being.

Some British terms mean the exact opposite of what they mean here. According to Mike Etherington, author of “The Very Best of British: An American’s Guide to Speaking Brit,” if an event “went down like a bomb, then it would mean that the people really enjoyed it.”

Of course, slang terms in any language are constantly evolving and changing, so learning just a few things will only take you so far. In the UK, this is even more true given how quickly slang terms emerge.

The structure of Cockney rhyme slang, which originated in the east end of London, relies on taking a word, finding a few rhyming words (usually no more than two or three) to go with it and then abbreviating that phrasing down and dropping not only the original word but also the word that rhymed, leaving the original meaning clouded in mystery for the uninitiated.

For example, “stairs” becomes “apples” in cockney rhyme slang from the rhyming phrase “apples and pears.” Though that particular example is rarely used in common speech today, it is often cited to help explain how cockney rhyme slang works.

Things can get further complicated when the original word is a British slang word. Working backwards to find a rhyme that makes sense is tough if you’ve never heard the original term in the first place!
If all this seems like too much to gen up on (learn about), don’t get shirty. Half of the fun of traveling is meeting new people and learning about differences. As long as you’ve got an open mind and a smile, you’re unlikely to encounter any serious difficulties in communication.

But just so everyone is clear: Not every Briton has an Auntie Beeb. That’s just the affectionate nickname they’ve given to their national broadcaster, the BBC.

By Leigh Bryant
(Original post:  http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/visit-britain-ca/don-t-gormless-gen-british-slang-230446529.html )

ELC Study Zone: Adjective Order

ELC Study Zone: Adjective Order

Introduction

In English, it is common to use more than one adjective before a noun — for example, “He’s a silly young fool,” or “She’s a smart, energetic woman.” When you use more than one adjective, you have to put them in the right order, according to type. This page will explain the different types of adjectives and the correct order for them.

1. The basic types of adjectives

Opinion An opinion adjective explains what you think about something (other people may not agree with you).
For example: silly, beautiful, horrible, difficult
Size A size adjective, of course, tells you how big or small something is.
For example: large, tiny, enormous, little
Age An age adjective tells you how young or old something or someone is.
For example: ancient, new, young, old
Shape A shape adjective describes the shape of something.
For example: square, round, flat, rectangular
Colour A colour adjective, of course, describes the colour of something.
For example: blue, pink, reddish, grey
Origin An origin adjective describes where something comes from.
For example: French, lunar, American, eastern, Greek
Material A material adjective describes what something is made from.
For example: wooden, metal, cotton, paper
Purpose A purpose adjective describes what something is used for. These adjectives often end with “-ing”.
For example: sleeping (as in “sleeping bag”), roasting (as in “roasting tin”)

2. Some examples of adjective order

Opinion Size Age Shape Colour Origin Material Purpose
a silly young English man
a huge round metal bowl
a small red sleeping bag
When you are sure that you understand the lesson, you can continue with the exercises.

A World of Confidence

This is a quick plug for a man and a product I believe in.

Sean McPheat is a world-renowned life coach in the U.K.  and he has created a place for building confidence and self-esteem.  It’s called Confidence World.

This site offers a free 7-part confidence building course, 30 free articles, a free 120-page confidence ebook and also you can listen to 4 free recorded confidence building tele-seminars.

If interested, you can check it out HERE.

That’s it for now, thank you!

Coach Ric

My Way – Using ‘Way’ in Expressions and Idioms

In my/the way – someone or something is blocking your path, usually a physical obstacle.
“Your car is in my way.  Can you please move it so I can get out?”

My way – my style, according to my thoughts and plans.
“Frank Sinatra sang a very famous song where he talks about his life decisions, good and bad, and summarizes it all by proudly singing ‘I did it my way’.  Very inspirational song!”

My way or the highway – expression that is an ultimatum.
“I’m sorry you don’t like my management style but at this company it’s my way or the highway.  If you can’t adjust, then you’ll have to leave the firm.”

On my way – about to leave a place or begin a journey
“I just got your message asking for help and I’m on my way.  I’ll be there soon.”

Up your way – very casual expression indicating geographic proximity
“Yesterday I was north of the city, up your way, and thought about stopping in for a visit but then I realized I didn’t have the time.”

Can you think of any others?  Please add them with a short definition and even an example sentence in the comments section below.  Thank you!

20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes

20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes

Column by Jon Gingerich January 31, 2012

I’ve edited a monthly magazine for more than six years, and it’s a job that’s come with more frustration than reward. If there’s one thing I am grateful for — and it sure isn’t the pay — it’s that my work has allowed endless time to hone my craft to Louis Skolnick levels of grammar geekery.
As someone who slings red ink for a living, let me tell you: grammar is an ultra-micro component in the larger picture; it lies somewhere in the final steps of the editing trail; and as such it’s an overrated quasi-irrelevancy in the creative process, perpetuated into importance primarily by bitter nerds who accumulate tweed jackets and crippling inferiority complexes. But experience has also taught me that readers, for better or worse, will approach your work with a jaundiced eye and an itch to judge. While your grammar shouldn’t be a reflection of your creative powers or writing abilities, let’s face it — it usually is.
Below are 20 common grammar mistakes I see routinely, not only in editorial queries and submissions, but in print: in HR manuals, blogs, magazines, newspapers, trade journals, and even best selling novels. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve made each of these mistakes a hundred times, and I know some of the best authors in history have lived to see these very toadstools appear in print. Let’s hope you can learn from some of their more famous mistakes.

Who and Whom

This one opens a big can of worms. “Who” is a subjective — or nominative — pronoun, along with “he,” “she,” “it,” “we,” and “they.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the subject of a clause. “Whom” is an objective pronoun, along with “him,” “her,” “it”, “us,” and “them.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the object of a clause. Using “who” or “whom” depends on whether you’re referring to the subject or object of a sentence. When in doubt, substitute “who” with the subjective pronouns “he” or “she,” e.g., Who loves you? cf., He loves me. Similarly, you can also substitute “whom” with the objective pronouns “him” or “her.” e.g., I consulted an attorney whom I met in New York. cf., I consulted him.

Which and That

This is one of the most common mistakes out there, and understandably so. “That” is a restrictive pronoun. It’s vital to the noun to which it’s referring.  e.g., I don’t trust fruits and vegetables that aren’t organic. Here, I’m referring to all non-organic fruits or vegetables. In other words, I only trust fruits and vegetables that are organic. “Which” introduces a relative clause. It allows qualifiers that may not be essential. e.g., I recommend you eat only organic fruits and vegetables, which are available in area grocery stores. In this case, you don’t have to go to a specific grocery store to obtain organic fruits and vegetables. “Which” qualifies, “that” restricts. “Which” is more ambiguous however, and by virtue of its meaning is flexible enough to be used in many restrictive clauses. e.g., The house, which is burning, is mine. e.g., The house that is burning is mine.

Lay and Lie

This is the crown jewel of all grammatical errors. “Lay” is a transitive verb. It requires a direct subject and one or more objects. Its present tense is “lay” (e.g., I lay the pencil on the table) and its past tense is “laid” (e.g., Yesterday I laid the pencil on the table). “Lie” is an intransitive verb. It needs no object. Its present tense is “lie” (e.g., The Andes mountains lie between Chile and Argentina) and its past tense is “lay” (e.g., The man lay waiting for an ambulance). The most common mistake occurs when the writer uses the past tense of the transitive “lay” (e.g., I laid on the bed) when he/she actually means the intransitive past tense of “lie” (e.g., I lay on the bed).

Moot

Contrary to common misuse, “moot” doesn’t imply something is superfluous. It means a subject is disputable or open to discussion. e.g., The idea that commercial zoning should be allowed in the residential neighborhood was a moot point for the council.

Continual and Continuous

They’re similar, but there’s a difference. “Continual” means something that’s always occurring, with obvious lapses in time. “Continuous” means something continues without any stops or gaps in between. e.g., The continual music next door made it the worst night of studying ever. e.g., Her continuous talking prevented him from concentrating.

Envy and Jealousy

The word “envy” implies a longing for someone else’s good fortunes. “Jealousy” is far more nefarious. It’s a fear of rivalry, often present in sexual situations. “Envy” is when you covet your friend’s good looks. “Jealousy” is what happens when your significant other swoons over your good-looking friend.

Nor

“Nor” expresses a negative condition. It literally means “and not.” You’re obligated to use the “nor” form if your sentence expresses a negative and follows it with another negative condition. “Neither the men nor the women were drunk” is a correct sentence because “nor” expresses that the women held the same negative condition as the men. The old rule is that “nor” typically follows “neither,” and “or” follows “either.” However, if neither “either” nor “neither” is used in a sentence, you should use “nor” to express a second negative, as long as the second negative is a verb. If the second negative is a noun, adjective, or adverb, you would use “or,” because the initial negative transfers to all conditions. e.g., He won’t eat broccoli or asparagus. The negative condition expressing the first noun (broccoli) is also used for the second (asparagus).

May and Might

“May” implies a possibility. “Might” implies far more uncertainty. “You may get drunk if you have two shots in ten minutes” implies a real possibility of drunkenness. “You might get a ticket if you operate a tug boat while drunk” implies a possibility that is far more remote. Someone who says “I may have more wine” could mean he/she doesn’t want more wine right now, or that he/she “might” not want any at all. Given the speaker’s indecision on the matter, “might” would be correct.

Whether and If

Many writers seem to assume that “whether” is interchangeable with “if.” It isn’t. “Whether” expresses a condition where there are two or more alternatives. “If” expresses a condition where there are no alternatives. e.g., I don’t know whether I’ll get drunk tonight. e.g., I can get drunk tonight if I have money for booze.

Fewer and Less

“Less” is reserved for hypothetical quantities. “Few” and “fewer” are for things you can quantify. e.g., The firm has fewer than ten employees. e.g., The firm is less successful now that we have only ten employees.

Farther and Further

The word “farther” implies a measurable distance. “Further” should be reserved for abstract lengths you can’t always measure. e.g., I threw the ball ten feet farther than Bill. e.g., The financial crisis caused further implications.

Since and Because

“Since” refers to time. “Because” refers to causation. e.g., Since I quit drinking I’ve married and had two children. e.g., Because I quit drinking I no longer wake up in my own vomit.

Disinterested and Uninterested

Contrary to popular usage, these words aren’t synonymous. A “disinterested” person is someone who’s impartial. For example, a hedge fund manager might take interest in a headline regarding the performance of a popular stock, even if he’s never invested in it. He’s “disinterested,” i.e., he doesn’t seek to gain financially from the transaction he’s witnessed. Judges and referees are supposed to be “disinterested.” If the sentence you’re using implies someone who couldn’t care less, chances are you’ll want to use “uninterested.”

Anxious

Unless you’re frightened of them, you shouldn’t say you’re “anxious to see your friends.” You’re actually “eager,” or “excited.” To be “anxious” implies a looming fear, dread or anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re looking forward to something.

Different Than and Different From

This is a tough one. Words like “rather” and “faster” are comparative adjectives, and are used to show comparison with the preposition “than,” (e.g., greater than, less than, faster than, rather than). The adjective “different” is used to draw distinction. So, when “different” is followed by a  preposition, it should be “from,” similar to “separate from,” “distinct from,” or “away from.” e.g., My living situation in New York was different from home. There are rare cases where “different than” is appropriate, if “than” operates as a conjunction. e.g., Development is different in New York than in Los Angeles. When in doubt, use “different from.”

Bring and Take

In order to employ proper usage of “bring” or “take,” the writer must know whether the object is being moved toward or away from the subject. If it is toward, use “bring.” If it is away, use “take.” Your spouse may tell you to “take your clothes to the cleaners.” The owner of the dry cleaners would say “bring your clothes to the cleaners.”

Impactful

It isn’t a word. “Impact” can be used as a noun (e.g., The impact of the crash was severe) or a transitive verb (e.g., The crash impacted my ability to walk or hold a job). “Impactful” is a made-up buzzword, colligated by the modern marketing industry in their endless attempts to decode the innumerable nuances of human behavior into a string of mindless metrics. Seriously, stop saying this.

Affect and Effect

Here’s a trick to help you remember: “Affect” is almost always a verb (e.g., Facebook affects people’s attention spans), and “effect” is almost always a noun (e.g., Facebook’s effects can also be positive). “Affect” means to influence or produce an impression — to cause hence, an effect. “Effect” is the thing produced by the affecting agent; it describes the result or outcome. There are some exceptions. “Effect” may be used as a transitive verb, which means to bring about or make happen. e.g., My new computer effected a much-needed transition from magazines to Web porn. There are similarly rare examples where “affect” can be a noun. e.g., His lack of affect made him seem like a shallow person.

Irony and Coincidence

Too many people claim something is the former when they actually mean the latter. For example, it’s not “ironic” that “Barbara moved from California to New York, where she ended up meeting and falling in love with a fellow Californian.” The fact that they’re both from California is a “coincidence.” “Irony” is the incongruity in a series of events between the expected results and the actual results. “Coincidence” is a series of events that appear planned when they’re actually accidental. So, it would be “ironic” if “Barbara moved from California to New York to escape California men, but the first man she ended up meeting and falling in love with was a fellow Californian.”

Nauseous

Undoubtedly the most common mistake I encounter. Contrary to almost ubiquitous misuse, to be “nauseous” doesn’t mean you’ve been sickened: it actually means you possess the ability to produce nausea in others. e.g., That week-old hot dog is nauseous. When you find yourself disgusted or made ill by a nauseating agent, you are actually “nauseated.” e.g., I was nauseated after falling into that dumpster behind the Planned Parenthood. Stop embarrassing yourself.


If you’re looking for a practical, quick guide to proper grammar, I suggest the tried-and-true classic The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White. A few of these examples are listed in the book, and there are plenty more. Good luck!
Original link:  http://litreactor.com/columns/20-common-grammar-mistakes-that-almost-everyone-gets-wrong

How Great Are You? You Need to Know

I want to share with you a story from my coaching with a new client.
I asked him to write down 10 reasons why someone would want to be his friend.  (This was part of an exercise we were doing on preparing your mindset before going to a party or networking function).
He took 2 minutes to write down 2 things!  I think he came up with ‘generous’ and ‘reliable’.  I was blown away at how a young 20-something male could not pump his own tires – or at least to come up with a few more.
I noticed his iPhone and asked him why he chose to get an iPhone and not say a Blackberry or Android?  He gave me 5 reasons in about 4 seconds as to why he chose the iPhone.
I then pointed out to him that he can come up with positive adjectives to describe why the iPhone is a good choice, but he couldn’t do the same about himself.  A moment of silence passed over.
For homework I told him to come up with at least 10, if not 20 reasons why someone would want to be his friend or date him.  I told him to be honest and sincere.  I asked just for words or phrases.
I eagerly await his homework.

All of us need to take stock and remember why we are good, if not great people.  We all have positive characteristics, skills, talents and quirks that others enjoy and find attractive.  I encourage all of you reading this post to take the challenge and write down 10 or more reasons why you would make a good friend or partner for someone special, and keep it real.

Organizing Our Thoughts for Quick Delivery and Impact

Hello fellow communication enthusiasts,
Today’s tip is on organizing one’s thoughts better so that we can speak faster and easier to others, especially when we are put on the spot or in a fast-paced work environment.
Think of your intended message as an iceberg, floating in the ocean.  We can see the tip from the land and sea, but we cannot see the rest of the iceberg, typically 90%, until we go under water.  We know it’s there but our first impression is based on the tip of the iceberg that we see. 
When you deliver a thought or message you essentially have 2 choices – to start with the 10% ‘point’ or the 90% ‘body’. 
Our goal should be to summarize our information into just the main point, and deliver it as precisely as possible and in as few sentences as possible.  After delivery, wait for a response to see if you need to continue into further details. 
For example, if someone asks you what you did on the weekend, you have two ways to answer:
1.  “I took the kids to the water park for some fun times.  It was great!”
2. “I took my 3 kids, Jack, Jill and Mary to Wave-O-Rama Water Park, you know the one just outside the city?  Anyway we spent the day walking around, looking at some interesting sites, of course playing in the water too!  They had slides, wading pools, water gun fighting and a bunch of other stuff.  It was great and I really recommend you take your family there soon!”
Now there is nothing wrong with #2 if the other person wanted all the extra info.  The challenge is in knowing if he or she really wanted all the details, right?  So it could be that you are giving valuable extra information, or it could be that you are giving what they consider non-important and boring extra information!  That’s tricky.
In answer #1 you have answered the question directly and precisely, and are now waiting and watching/listening to understand if your conversation partner wants any extra details.  They will ask if they want or need more info.  They will continue on if they do not.  Simple.
Our above example is a personal dialogue, but the iceberg theory of giving information or answering questions works very well in business discussions too.  So from now on, practice giving a shorter, more direct answer (with appropriate tone though) especially when you are in a busy or fast-paced environment.  It will save you and your conversation partner time and allow you to be better organized in the presentation of answers and information. 
That’s all for today folks. 
Thank you,
Coach Ric