Author Archives: Coach Ric

About Coach Ric

Communication Coach and Corporate Trainer. Founder and President of 3V Communications. Program Advisor and Instructor at YEDI - the York Entrepreneurship Development Institute. York U instructor. NCCA Canada Director. Background in sociology, psychology, NLP, body language analysis and TESL. MBA. BJJ Purple belt. Forever Star Trek fan. Toronto-based but not bound.

Beware of Your Body Language in International Business

Beware of Your Body Language in International Business

“Beware of Your Body Language in International Business”  – Business without Borders, Globe & Mail, July 31st, 2012 – Communication Coach & Body Language Expert Ric Phillips is interviewed to discuss body language and gestures for Westerners to be aware of while doing business overseas.  We specifically looked at China, Japan, Thailand and Russia, areas I have travelled to and/or worked in.  There is an article as well as a 2 minute video here:  http://www.bwob.ca/topics/administration/beware-of-your-body-language-in-international-business/
You may have to sign up for a free account to view the article and video.  I apologize for that in advance.
Thank you!

(UPDATE:  the link above does not send you to that article and video – they have expired.  It sends you to a general Globe & Mail webpage with online videos.)

Don’t Be Gormless! Gen Up on British Slang | Visit Britain – Shine from Yahoo! Canada

Don’t Be Gormless! Gen Up on British Slang | Visit Britain – Shine from Yahoo! Canada
Communicating when you travel to Britain should be easy. After all, it’s an English-speaking country. But you will quickly discover nuances of the language that could catch you off guard (and make it all too obvious that you’re not familiar with British culture). Not only can the accent be difficult to decipher for an unaccustomed ear, slang terms and phrases sometimes make you feel as if you need an English-English Dictionary.

For example, if you need a washroom in Great Britain, you might be better off asking for the loo. To report a stolen wallet, you’re going to want to talk to a bobby. If you’re sweet on someone and looking for a kiss or a bit more, across the pond you’re looking for a snog, and if you’re engaged, you’re busy. Chuffed means pleased, while cheesed off means peeved.

A lorry is a truck, and if one cuts you off in traffic, you may hear more colourful swear words than the four-letter invectives we use. A welly is a rubber boot, but “give it more welly” means putting in more effort or going faster in your car.

Most of us know “cheerio!” as a cheerful greeting or parting word (like the Hawaiian “aloha,” it can work in both directions).

But how many of us understand that when looking for a tailor-made suit, you should ask for bespoke, and a bird isn’t just a flying animal, it’s also a slang term for a woman? Knowing a few simple phrases and words may not seem like much, but when you’re out on the town and chatting with local blokes (guys), it can keep things from going pear-shaped (that is, very wrong) because of how gormless (clueless) you’re being.

Some British terms mean the exact opposite of what they mean here. According to Mike Etherington, author of “The Very Best of British: An American’s Guide to Speaking Brit,” if an event “went down like a bomb, then it would mean that the people really enjoyed it.”

Of course, slang terms in any language are constantly evolving and changing, so learning just a few things will only take you so far. In the UK, this is even more true given how quickly slang terms emerge.

The structure of Cockney rhyme slang, which originated in the east end of London, relies on taking a word, finding a few rhyming words (usually no more than two or three) to go with it and then abbreviating that phrasing down and dropping not only the original word but also the word that rhymed, leaving the original meaning clouded in mystery for the uninitiated.

For example, “stairs” becomes “apples” in cockney rhyme slang from the rhyming phrase “apples and pears.” Though that particular example is rarely used in common speech today, it is often cited to help explain how cockney rhyme slang works.

Things can get further complicated when the original word is a British slang word. Working backwards to find a rhyme that makes sense is tough if you’ve never heard the original term in the first place!
If all this seems like too much to gen up on (learn about), don’t get shirty. Half of the fun of traveling is meeting new people and learning about differences. As long as you’ve got an open mind and a smile, you’re unlikely to encounter any serious difficulties in communication.

But just so everyone is clear: Not every Briton has an Auntie Beeb. That’s just the affectionate nickname they’ve given to their national broadcaster, the BBC.

By Leigh Bryant
(Original post:  http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/visit-britain-ca/don-t-gormless-gen-british-slang-230446529.html )

ELC Study Zone: Adjective Order

ELC Study Zone: Adjective Order

Introduction

In English, it is common to use more than one adjective before a noun — for example, “He’s a silly young fool,” or “She’s a smart, energetic woman.” When you use more than one adjective, you have to put them in the right order, according to type. This page will explain the different types of adjectives and the correct order for them.

1. The basic types of adjectives

Opinion An opinion adjective explains what you think about something (other people may not agree with you).
For example: silly, beautiful, horrible, difficult
Size A size adjective, of course, tells you how big or small something is.
For example: large, tiny, enormous, little
Age An age adjective tells you how young or old something or someone is.
For example: ancient, new, young, old
Shape A shape adjective describes the shape of something.
For example: square, round, flat, rectangular
Colour A colour adjective, of course, describes the colour of something.
For example: blue, pink, reddish, grey
Origin An origin adjective describes where something comes from.
For example: French, lunar, American, eastern, Greek
Material A material adjective describes what something is made from.
For example: wooden, metal, cotton, paper
Purpose A purpose adjective describes what something is used for. These adjectives often end with “-ing”.
For example: sleeping (as in “sleeping bag”), roasting (as in “roasting tin”)

2. Some examples of adjective order

Opinion Size Age Shape Colour Origin Material Purpose
a silly young English man
a huge round metal bowl
a small red sleeping bag
When you are sure that you understand the lesson, you can continue with the exercises.

A World of Confidence

This is a quick plug for a man and a product I believe in.

Sean McPheat is a world-renowned life coach in the U.K.  and he has created a place for building confidence and self-esteem.  It’s called Confidence World.

This site offers a free 7-part confidence building course, 30 free articles, a free 120-page confidence ebook and also you can listen to 4 free recorded confidence building tele-seminars.

If interested, you can check it out HERE.

That’s it for now, thank you!

Coach Ric

My Way – Using ‘Way’ in Expressions and Idioms

In my/the way – someone or something is blocking your path, usually a physical obstacle.
“Your car is in my way.  Can you please move it so I can get out?”

My way – my style, according to my thoughts and plans.
“Frank Sinatra sang a very famous song where he talks about his life decisions, good and bad, and summarizes it all by proudly singing ‘I did it my way’.  Very inspirational song!”

My way or the highway – expression that is an ultimatum.
“I’m sorry you don’t like my management style but at this company it’s my way or the highway.  If you can’t adjust, then you’ll have to leave the firm.”

On my way – about to leave a place or begin a journey
“I just got your message asking for help and I’m on my way.  I’ll be there soon.”

Up your way – very casual expression indicating geographic proximity
“Yesterday I was north of the city, up your way, and thought about stopping in for a visit but then I realized I didn’t have the time.”

Can you think of any others?  Please add them with a short definition and even an example sentence in the comments section below.  Thank you!

20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes

20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes

Column by Jon Gingerich January 31, 2012

I’ve edited a monthly magazine for more than six years, and it’s a job that’s come with more frustration than reward. If there’s one thing I am grateful for — and it sure isn’t the pay — it’s that my work has allowed endless time to hone my craft to Louis Skolnick levels of grammar geekery.
As someone who slings red ink for a living, let me tell you: grammar is an ultra-micro component in the larger picture; it lies somewhere in the final steps of the editing trail; and as such it’s an overrated quasi-irrelevancy in the creative process, perpetuated into importance primarily by bitter nerds who accumulate tweed jackets and crippling inferiority complexes. But experience has also taught me that readers, for better or worse, will approach your work with a jaundiced eye and an itch to judge. While your grammar shouldn’t be a reflection of your creative powers or writing abilities, let’s face it — it usually is.
Below are 20 common grammar mistakes I see routinely, not only in editorial queries and submissions, but in print: in HR manuals, blogs, magazines, newspapers, trade journals, and even best selling novels. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve made each of these mistakes a hundred times, and I know some of the best authors in history have lived to see these very toadstools appear in print. Let’s hope you can learn from some of their more famous mistakes.

Who and Whom

This one opens a big can of worms. “Who” is a subjective — or nominative — pronoun, along with “he,” “she,” “it,” “we,” and “they.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the subject of a clause. “Whom” is an objective pronoun, along with “him,” “her,” “it”, “us,” and “them.” It’s used when the pronoun acts as the object of a clause. Using “who” or “whom” depends on whether you’re referring to the subject or object of a sentence. When in doubt, substitute “who” with the subjective pronouns “he” or “she,” e.g., Who loves you? cf., He loves me. Similarly, you can also substitute “whom” with the objective pronouns “him” or “her.” e.g., I consulted an attorney whom I met in New York. cf., I consulted him.

Which and That

This is one of the most common mistakes out there, and understandably so. “That” is a restrictive pronoun. It’s vital to the noun to which it’s referring.  e.g., I don’t trust fruits and vegetables that aren’t organic. Here, I’m referring to all non-organic fruits or vegetables. In other words, I only trust fruits and vegetables that are organic. “Which” introduces a relative clause. It allows qualifiers that may not be essential. e.g., I recommend you eat only organic fruits and vegetables, which are available in area grocery stores. In this case, you don’t have to go to a specific grocery store to obtain organic fruits and vegetables. “Which” qualifies, “that” restricts. “Which” is more ambiguous however, and by virtue of its meaning is flexible enough to be used in many restrictive clauses. e.g., The house, which is burning, is mine. e.g., The house that is burning is mine.

Lay and Lie

This is the crown jewel of all grammatical errors. “Lay” is a transitive verb. It requires a direct subject and one or more objects. Its present tense is “lay” (e.g., I lay the pencil on the table) and its past tense is “laid” (e.g., Yesterday I laid the pencil on the table). “Lie” is an intransitive verb. It needs no object. Its present tense is “lie” (e.g., The Andes mountains lie between Chile and Argentina) and its past tense is “lay” (e.g., The man lay waiting for an ambulance). The most common mistake occurs when the writer uses the past tense of the transitive “lay” (e.g., I laid on the bed) when he/she actually means the intransitive past tense of “lie” (e.g., I lay on the bed).

Moot

Contrary to common misuse, “moot” doesn’t imply something is superfluous. It means a subject is disputable or open to discussion. e.g., The idea that commercial zoning should be allowed in the residential neighborhood was a moot point for the council.

Continual and Continuous

They’re similar, but there’s a difference. “Continual” means something that’s always occurring, with obvious lapses in time. “Continuous” means something continues without any stops or gaps in between. e.g., The continual music next door made it the worst night of studying ever. e.g., Her continuous talking prevented him from concentrating.

Envy and Jealousy

The word “envy” implies a longing for someone else’s good fortunes. “Jealousy” is far more nefarious. It’s a fear of rivalry, often present in sexual situations. “Envy” is when you covet your friend’s good looks. “Jealousy” is what happens when your significant other swoons over your good-looking friend.

Nor

“Nor” expresses a negative condition. It literally means “and not.” You’re obligated to use the “nor” form if your sentence expresses a negative and follows it with another negative condition. “Neither the men nor the women were drunk” is a correct sentence because “nor” expresses that the women held the same negative condition as the men. The old rule is that “nor” typically follows “neither,” and “or” follows “either.” However, if neither “either” nor “neither” is used in a sentence, you should use “nor” to express a second negative, as long as the second negative is a verb. If the second negative is a noun, adjective, or adverb, you would use “or,” because the initial negative transfers to all conditions. e.g., He won’t eat broccoli or asparagus. The negative condition expressing the first noun (broccoli) is also used for the second (asparagus).

May and Might

“May” implies a possibility. “Might” implies far more uncertainty. “You may get drunk if you have two shots in ten minutes” implies a real possibility of drunkenness. “You might get a ticket if you operate a tug boat while drunk” implies a possibility that is far more remote. Someone who says “I may have more wine” could mean he/she doesn’t want more wine right now, or that he/she “might” not want any at all. Given the speaker’s indecision on the matter, “might” would be correct.

Whether and If

Many writers seem to assume that “whether” is interchangeable with “if.” It isn’t. “Whether” expresses a condition where there are two or more alternatives. “If” expresses a condition where there are no alternatives. e.g., I don’t know whether I’ll get drunk tonight. e.g., I can get drunk tonight if I have money for booze.

Fewer and Less

“Less” is reserved for hypothetical quantities. “Few” and “fewer” are for things you can quantify. e.g., The firm has fewer than ten employees. e.g., The firm is less successful now that we have only ten employees.

Farther and Further

The word “farther” implies a measurable distance. “Further” should be reserved for abstract lengths you can’t always measure. e.g., I threw the ball ten feet farther than Bill. e.g., The financial crisis caused further implications.

Since and Because

“Since” refers to time. “Because” refers to causation. e.g., Since I quit drinking I’ve married and had two children. e.g., Because I quit drinking I no longer wake up in my own vomit.

Disinterested and Uninterested

Contrary to popular usage, these words aren’t synonymous. A “disinterested” person is someone who’s impartial. For example, a hedge fund manager might take interest in a headline regarding the performance of a popular stock, even if he’s never invested in it. He’s “disinterested,” i.e., he doesn’t seek to gain financially from the transaction he’s witnessed. Judges and referees are supposed to be “disinterested.” If the sentence you’re using implies someone who couldn’t care less, chances are you’ll want to use “uninterested.”

Anxious

Unless you’re frightened of them, you shouldn’t say you’re “anxious to see your friends.” You’re actually “eager,” or “excited.” To be “anxious” implies a looming fear, dread or anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re looking forward to something.

Different Than and Different From

This is a tough one. Words like “rather” and “faster” are comparative adjectives, and are used to show comparison with the preposition “than,” (e.g., greater than, less than, faster than, rather than). The adjective “different” is used to draw distinction. So, when “different” is followed by a  preposition, it should be “from,” similar to “separate from,” “distinct from,” or “away from.” e.g., My living situation in New York was different from home. There are rare cases where “different than” is appropriate, if “than” operates as a conjunction. e.g., Development is different in New York than in Los Angeles. When in doubt, use “different from.”

Bring and Take

In order to employ proper usage of “bring” or “take,” the writer must know whether the object is being moved toward or away from the subject. If it is toward, use “bring.” If it is away, use “take.” Your spouse may tell you to “take your clothes to the cleaners.” The owner of the dry cleaners would say “bring your clothes to the cleaners.”

Impactful

It isn’t a word. “Impact” can be used as a noun (e.g., The impact of the crash was severe) or a transitive verb (e.g., The crash impacted my ability to walk or hold a job). “Impactful” is a made-up buzzword, colligated by the modern marketing industry in their endless attempts to decode the innumerable nuances of human behavior into a string of mindless metrics. Seriously, stop saying this.

Affect and Effect

Here’s a trick to help you remember: “Affect” is almost always a verb (e.g., Facebook affects people’s attention spans), and “effect” is almost always a noun (e.g., Facebook’s effects can also be positive). “Affect” means to influence or produce an impression — to cause hence, an effect. “Effect” is the thing produced by the affecting agent; it describes the result or outcome. There are some exceptions. “Effect” may be used as a transitive verb, which means to bring about or make happen. e.g., My new computer effected a much-needed transition from magazines to Web porn. There are similarly rare examples where “affect” can be a noun. e.g., His lack of affect made him seem like a shallow person.

Irony and Coincidence

Too many people claim something is the former when they actually mean the latter. For example, it’s not “ironic” that “Barbara moved from California to New York, where she ended up meeting and falling in love with a fellow Californian.” The fact that they’re both from California is a “coincidence.” “Irony” is the incongruity in a series of events between the expected results and the actual results. “Coincidence” is a series of events that appear planned when they’re actually accidental. So, it would be “ironic” if “Barbara moved from California to New York to escape California men, but the first man she ended up meeting and falling in love with was a fellow Californian.”

Nauseous

Undoubtedly the most common mistake I encounter. Contrary to almost ubiquitous misuse, to be “nauseous” doesn’t mean you’ve been sickened: it actually means you possess the ability to produce nausea in others. e.g., That week-old hot dog is nauseous. When you find yourself disgusted or made ill by a nauseating agent, you are actually “nauseated.” e.g., I was nauseated after falling into that dumpster behind the Planned Parenthood. Stop embarrassing yourself.


If you’re looking for a practical, quick guide to proper grammar, I suggest the tried-and-true classic The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White. A few of these examples are listed in the book, and there are plenty more. Good luck!
Original link:  http://litreactor.com/columns/20-common-grammar-mistakes-that-almost-everyone-gets-wrong

How Great Are You? You Need to Know

I want to share with you a story from my coaching with a new client.
I asked him to write down 10 reasons why someone would want to be his friend.  (This was part of an exercise we were doing on preparing your mindset before going to a party or networking function).
He took 2 minutes to write down 2 things!  I think he came up with ‘generous’ and ‘reliable’.  I was blown away at how a young 20-something male could not pump his own tires – or at least to come up with a few more.
I noticed his iPhone and asked him why he chose to get an iPhone and not say a Blackberry or Android?  He gave me 5 reasons in about 4 seconds as to why he chose the iPhone.
I then pointed out to him that he can come up with positive adjectives to describe why the iPhone is a good choice, but he couldn’t do the same about himself.  A moment of silence passed over.
For homework I told him to come up with at least 10, if not 20 reasons why someone would want to be his friend or date him.  I told him to be honest and sincere.  I asked just for words or phrases.
I eagerly await his homework.

All of us need to take stock and remember why we are good, if not great people.  We all have positive characteristics, skills, talents and quirks that others enjoy and find attractive.  I encourage all of you reading this post to take the challenge and write down 10 or more reasons why you would make a good friend or partner for someone special, and keep it real.

Organizing Our Thoughts for Quick Delivery and Impact

Hello fellow communication enthusiasts,
Today’s tip is on organizing one’s thoughts better so that we can speak faster and easier to others, especially when we are put on the spot or in a fast-paced work environment.
Think of your intended message as an iceberg, floating in the ocean.  We can see the tip from the land and sea, but we cannot see the rest of the iceberg, typically 90%, until we go under water.  We know it’s there but our first impression is based on the tip of the iceberg that we see. 
When you deliver a thought or message you essentially have 2 choices – to start with the 10% ‘point’ or the 90% ‘body’. 
Our goal should be to summarize our information into just the main point, and deliver it as precisely as possible and in as few sentences as possible.  After delivery, wait for a response to see if you need to continue into further details. 
For example, if someone asks you what you did on the weekend, you have two ways to answer:
1.  “I took the kids to the water park for some fun times.  It was great!”
2. “I took my 3 kids, Jack, Jill and Mary to Wave-O-Rama Water Park, you know the one just outside the city?  Anyway we spent the day walking around, looking at some interesting sites, of course playing in the water too!  They had slides, wading pools, water gun fighting and a bunch of other stuff.  It was great and I really recommend you take your family there soon!”
Now there is nothing wrong with #2 if the other person wanted all the extra info.  The challenge is in knowing if he or she really wanted all the details, right?  So it could be that you are giving valuable extra information, or it could be that you are giving what they consider non-important and boring extra information!  That’s tricky.
In answer #1 you have answered the question directly and precisely, and are now waiting and watching/listening to understand if your conversation partner wants any extra details.  They will ask if they want or need more info.  They will continue on if they do not.  Simple.
Our above example is a personal dialogue, but the iceberg theory of giving information or answering questions works very well in business discussions too.  So from now on, practice giving a shorter, more direct answer (with appropriate tone though) especially when you are in a busy or fast-paced environment.  It will save you and your conversation partner time and allow you to be better organized in the presentation of answers and information. 
That’s all for today folks. 
Thank you,
Coach Ric

York Region Article: YRT free for 2 months

I know this post is late – sorry about that. For those that do not know, York Region Transit had a 3-month strike which obviously inconvenienced a lot of riders. We Torontonians clearly remember a few TTC strikes, right? Anyway what makes this YRT strike interesting is that after the two sides finally settled their contract dispute, YRT offered (and is still offering) free rides on YRT until the end of this month (March 2012). Isn’t that amazing for transit users?That is a big step in the right direction towards great customer service. I’ve never heard of a city transit giving free rides after a strike – have you? If so please tell me by writing a comment below. Anyway I was very impressed by this gesture, even though some people do not agree with this act (see comments below of original article).

In an ideal world (at least according to most riders), transit would be considered an essential service and would never go on strike, at least not an extended one. But in the meantime, I find it refreshing to say the least that York Region gave back to its riders, when they did not have to. Way to go!

York Region Article: YRT free for 2 months
You will be able to ride York Region Transit for free for nearly two months starting Saturday.
York Region council committed to making the service free for at least one month but is now committing to go further.
Free service is available from Feb. 4 to March 31.
With ridership levels certain to drop following the three-month strike, the region hopes you’ll consider leaving your car at home for a change.
“If you used our buses before, we’re welcoming you back,” regional chairperson Bill Fisch said. “And if you have never experienced transit in York Region before, the next two months are a great opportunity to give it a try.” Continue reading here: http://www.yorkregion.com/news/news/article/1289578