Category Archives: Body Language

Body language includes non-verbal communication and behaviour, like gestures, gaze, facial expressions, etc.

A Very Busy April Weekend!

Well first off I’d like to congratulate the newest royal married couple, Will and Kate. It was a fantastic wedding, and I wish you the best. As a Communication Coach, I hope that you continue to relate directly to your public, and don’t be afraid to be real in front of the camera, within reason of course!

Next, I have to send a big Good Luck to GSP (Georges St. Pierre), Mark Hominick, Jason MacDonald and the rest of the Canadian contingent who will be representing this great country on the mat and in the ring this Saturday at UFC 129. It is the first time the UFC has held an event in Toronto, and it was the biggest sell-out so far at 55 thousand seats. I’ll be watching and cheering them on. In the octagon, you cannot hide who you are. The truth will reveal itself. Buckle up.

Speaking of representing our great nation, who is going to win the Canadian federal election? May 2nd is the time to vote and support whichever party leader you believe will do the best job. Or, as some people have suggested, you can pick the one who does the least trash-talking and dirty ad campaigns. (That would be why Smilin’ Jack Layton has doubled his numbers in the last 2 weeks – people are sick and tired of the Liberal and Conservative dirty politics!)

I have to toot my own horn here for a second – it was a great honour to be asked to give my expert communication assessment of the federal leaders’ body language (and other non-verbal communications) after their Federal Leaders’ Debate held April 12th. I was interviewed by 1130 News in Vancouver, AM640 Toronto – The John Oakley Show as well as by host Stephen LeDrew on CP24 LeDrew Live TV show shortly after. I told everyone basically the same thing, which is that from a communication point of view, Mr. Harper had the best showing. He was calm, in control, did not get rattled when he was attacked, and he made symmetrical open hand/arm gestures stemming from his navel, which is an area called the ‘truth plane’. It’s a good place to keep your hands when you are trying to win trust.

Mr. Ignatieff used some poor hand gestures and was caught with his hand on his hip, but did use the ‘rule of 3’ well, which is when you use 3 words that are easy to remember. He repeated “jets, jails and corporate tax cuts” often enough that I still remember them! Problem is, if you overuse this technique, it sounds stale.

Mr. Layton used his smile well, in that he looked great deflecting the criticism with a smile and a joke. He has pretty good posture in general and leads with a strong voice. He was smoother that night that I expected, since Jack usually sounds choppy. He did a great job and I’m not surprised his ratings improved after the debate.

Mr. Duceppe has an obvious disadvantage in that English is his second language, but I can tell you that in any language you do not want to be caught reading your notes, which he was a couple of times. When he speaks fast and impromptu he does not sound as good as when he is prepared and calm.

These are just a few of the things that I noted during the debate. Unfortunately the video from the TV show and the audio from the two radio interviews are not available at this time. However here is a link to a short article from the Vancouver news station, should you be interested:
http://www.news1130.com/news/local/article/211782–harper-was-debate-winner-in-body-language-expert

Have a great weekend, and if you are Canadian, please vote May 2nd. The future is in our hands.

PS – if you or someone you know needs executive coaching, especially for media, public speaking or presentations, please pass along my website contact info. These days it is extremely important that managers and other executives representing the government or a company are clear and confident in their messages to the public, or to the shareholders.

The John Oakley Show – Body Language of Cdn Leaders

Hello,

After a radio interview this morning and a TV appearance today on the Stephen LeDrew Live show, I have been asked to continue sharing my analysis of the non-verbal communication of the 4 Canadian Leaders during their Tuesday evening debate.

I am happy that I will be on the John Oakley Show – AM 640 – Toronto, at 7:30am (April 14th).

Here is a link to his show’s website, where you can find a link to listen live, if you wish, or listen afterward, as long as the link is up.

Thanks John!

http://www.640toronto.com/HostsandShows/JohnOakley/Main.aspx

Correction – TV Appearance Has Changed

Hi “fans” 😉

I have just been informed that the federal leaders will continue talking after 9pm tomorrow (because 2 hours is not enough I guess), so I will not have time to be on LeDrew Live Tuesday at 9pm. HOWEVER they have asked me to come in for WEDNESDAY at NOON instead. So I am happy to oblige.

CP24 (City News) LeDrew Live with host Stephen LeDrew. Look for me around noon on Wednesday.

Thanks,

Coach Ric

Body Language at the Cdn Federal Leaders’ Debate on Tuesday

Hello Communication Enthusiasts!

Many Canadians will be watching the Federal Leaders’ Debate happening in English this Tuesday April 12th, from 7-9 pm EST. I am sure it will be full of interesting mini-speeches, critiques, replies and maybe some humour. I am also sure it will contain a lot of body language and other non-verbal communication, both positive and negative.

I have been asked by CityNews/CP24 to be a guest on the Stephen LeDrew Live show following the debate. I will be asked to give my expert opinion on the body language used by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Michael Ignatieff, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe during their debate. I am honoured by the request and have agreed to share some thoughts on air.

As of right now the producers think I would be on around 9:30 pm. I’m not sure how much detail Mr. LeDrew will be asking of me so I don’t know how long my segment will be, but I will endevour to give fair and balanced feedback on each of the politician’s body language, and the inferred meaning and feeling. It must be a difficult job to be a professional politician!

Enjoy the debate and enjoy the LeDrew Live show!

Tips and a Warning When Reading Body Language

Today I would like to both share with you some useful tips of body language and other non-verbal communication, as well as warn you not to think that a little bit of reading can turn you into Dr. Cal Lightman, from the TV show “Lie to Me.” 
That TV show is based on the real-life research and books of Dr. Paul Ekman.  Dr. Ekman is the first to tell you that body language reading is not an exact science, and is not fool-proof.  
Most people are under-educated when it comes to body language, since it is not something we are taught at school.  In order to learn it we have to read many books, take seminars and workshops, hire a personal coach and practice practice practice.  I believe there is benefit to improving your ability to intuitively ‘read’ people, but do not get caught up in yourself and your ‘magic’ abilities.  Even with all the research you may have done, experts suggest it only raises our chances of accurately reading someone 10 – 17% better than an average person without such training. 
The better results gleaned from studying body language and non-verbal communication is actually that you become a better observer and listener in general, which is great to improve your communication skills, and more importantly you learn how to present yourself better in your public speaking, meetings, interviews and even on dates. 
Being knowledgeable about posture, what to do with your body parts from head to toe, voice control, eye contact etc. will quickly and greatly improve your public presentation of self.  So even if you don’t believe in the art of reading people, you can still study non-verbal communication to give you an advantage at the office or on the streets. 
I’d now like to share with you an article from the Globe & Mail newspaper that gives you tips on improving your body language for the workplace.  To be fair, I must warn you that I am shamelessly promoting myself as I was the main contributor of information in this article, so bear with me!  (LOL)

I hope you enjoy the article!

Coach Ric

Toronto Man Follows HIs Dream to the UFC

“The biggest thing is if you have a dream, then just chance it […] you don’t need to give it up because you think you’re too old. If you want to do something, then just go out and do it.”

– Sean Pierson, Toronto-based UFC Fighter.  Entered the esteemed UFC octagon December 11, 2010, at 34 years of age, and won his first UFC fight with conviction.  He’s back for more action April 30th, for UFC 129, held right here in Toronto.  Good luck Sean!

Study Body Language at Home (Course)

Hello,

Are you interested in improving your knowledge of how to really read people and in turn how to act for maximum effectiveness in meetings, at parties or anywhere else?  If so, please click picture below and see if this program fits your needs.  I am a fan of Kevin Hogan and subscribe to his newsletters, and have some of his books.  This guy is the real-deal.  I have learned a lot from him.  Enjoy the body language quiz on his website too!

Reading Body Language - Home Study Program

Speaking with Confidence (the 3V Way)

Many people ask me how they can communicate with more confidence when they speak.  They ask if it is a matter of vocabulary choice, of speaking louder, or dressing in a new suit.  Today I would like to give some advice on that subject to you my readers.
First things first – understand that effective communication is not just about one aspect of communication.  It is not enough to just start using “power words” and expect everyone to bow down to your great communication skills, and give in to your new sales pitch.
My company name says it all:  3V Communications.  You need to evaluate how you are communicating verbally, vocally and visually.  Here are some techniques to use to help you speak confidently:
Verbal: 
Do so-called power words help?  Sure.  It is always a good idea to have a deep vocabulary so that you can chose the correct word to give your speech or conversation a concise meaning.  The key is to have a word or phrase that is presented simply, yet it is powerful.  Do not ramble on trying to impress someone with your vocabulary and your knowledge of business lingo.  Short and concise will produce a confident result.  Also use strong, more committed words like “yes”, “will”, “able to”, “100%” etc. and use superlatives as well.   For example:
“The United States is 100% committed to protecting its citizens from terrorists.”
“Toronto is the most multicultural city I have ever seen.”
“Cubans are the best salsa dancers in the world.”
Vocal:
Speak loud enough to be heard by everyone, without yelling.  Speak from your diaphragm, which is an old actors’ technique.  Speak to the person at the back of the room.  When you are speaking confidently you must speak at a medium pace that uses appropriate and dynamic stressing of your key words.  We should also add eye contact and body language gestures to match our stress and intonation.
Examples of important stressing:
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Too plain and not enough feeling)
Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.” 
(Too much emphasis on you and your company’s desires.  Could come off as pushy.)
Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Much more rhythmic and dynamic when spoken with a firm but friendly voice, and is balanced as well.)
Visual:
Visual communication makes up the biggest chunk of our intended feeling and attitude that is conveyed.  To show confidence you must have great posture, use lots of eye contact, smile often (when appropriate), have hand gestures that are in sync with your verbal and vocal communications, and you must know how to dress for success.  You must understand first and foremost which clothes look and feel best for your body type (i.e. not too tight, not too baggy) and you need to be dressed appropriately for the occasion. 
If you are wearing an item of clothing that you have had for 5 or more years, think very carefully to yourself how others view it before you wear it again.  It is important to realize that some people out there, particularly in the business world, have a keen sense of modern fashion and will judge you based on that if they see you are wearing a splashy tie, baggy slacks, scuffed shoes, a shirt with a collar that is the wrong size, shoulder seams that rest on your biceps, etc. 
For women they also need to be aware of outdated fashion, wearing huge shoulder pads, wearing hair and make-up styles from the 1990s, heavy perfume, and once again not wearing body type-appropriate clothes. 
Since I am not a fashion expert I will simply tell you that there are a number of fashion websites, blogs, books and magazines available as well as image consultants, should you need one.  Most people don’t, fortunately, if they listen to their trendy spouse or friend. I myself have gone through a number of changes in my dress over the last few years, all for the better I assume, because I listened to my fiancée/wife.
If you are not sure how confidently you are coming across, maybe it is time to ask someone you trust to review your 3Vs and see if there is any way to speak and be seen with more confidence.  If you need me, just let me know.
All the best,

Transfer Worker from China gets Speaking Award

Hello everyone,

I would like to share an email I received today from Grace, one of my private coaching clients here in Toronto.  (I have her permission to share this.)  Before I do I just want to give you a little background on her.  She has been transferred here from Shanghai, China, and works for a large financial institution.
In addition to working with me to improve her business English (which by the way is already really good) I coach Grace on interpersonal and professional communication skills.

Currently Grace is enrolled in a fun, dynamic Dale Carnegie course, which I fully support.  However, I had the opportunity and ability to take her DC training further, by adding to what she was learning and advising her on how to improve her public speaking.  (There are advantages to one-to-one training over large group workshops, right?) 

Here is the unedited email I received today:

Thanks a lot, Ric!

I can’t wait to share the great news with you that I won the
Breakthrough Award yesterday at my Carnegie’s class!

I did restructure my story as you suggested and applied the body
language you taught me. My classmates were very impressed and voted
me as the winner of the night. I think the credit goes to you.
Without your help and inspiration, I would never get there. Thanks
so much!!!

Grace

_____________________

No Grace, thank YOU for being a hard-worker and a brave public speaker in English as a second language.  It is not easy.  Keep up the good work in your DC class as well as in our coaching sessions!

Coach Ric