Category Archives: ESL/Cultural Communications

English as a second language and cultural challenges and differences in communication

Bookend Your Voice Messages

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This means leave your (full) name and number clearly at the beginning and ending of your messages.

Sometimes we are in a hurry and forget the little things that really help communication. Or we are just simply used to speaking quickly as our natural voice. And sometimes we forget that cell phones and the like cut out at inopportune times, leaving the listener with an incomplete message. This happened to me recently when someone left me a voice message that was very quietly spoken, and unfortunately, with an incomplete phone number. If that person would have ‘bookended’ her message to me, there would have been 2 chances for me to hear her name and number. So here is today’s lesson:

Speak at a medium volume, medium speed when recording your voice messages, both on your own machine or when leaving a message on someone else’s. And say your name and number at the beginning and end. Being an excellent communicator is about taking responsibility to assist your listeners as well as being a clear speaker.

Use EFT for Fear of Public Speaking, etc.

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Have you heard of EFT? Emotional Freedom Techniques. This is a non-invasive form of self-therapy to activate pressure points (chi or qi points in Asian medicine) that hold negative emotional build-up and disrupt your body’s natural energy flow. The theory is that if you can release these negative emotions or scars from previous times, you will be in better health, and manage phobias better too.
Why believe me? Don’t. Research it yourself and make your own decision. It is the same principle as accu-pressure. Here is the website: http://www.emofree.com
You can also find videos on Youtube if you search ‘EFT’.

What do I think?  I know a few people who are trying this and they say it is very helpful for insomnia and post-traumatic stress disorder. I used it to relieve back pain and laziness. I used it on a couple of my clients too. One person felt better about her back pain. Another reduced her anxiety over her upcoming public speaking at work. She went from an 8/10 fear to a 5/10 in 2 minutes.

I am interested in EFT, although I am not sure I believe all the testimonials. Some people claim to rid themselves of disease, help babies who are teething, and even unclog toilets! (Yuck!)
For now I am going to continue to explore it, research it, and use it on myself and clients. I like market research. Then I may decide to get officially certified in Advanced EFT techniques. Check out their website for a free video, manual, newsletter, etc. www.emofree.com.
By the way I am not affiliated with them and receive no kickbacks. I just think this could be really useful for public speaking and presentations, and overall improvement in our emotional health.

Public Speaking Top 10 tips

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1 – Expect nervousness every time, but don’t expect disaster. Expect success.

2 – Stick to what you know well, so you can ‘talk’ about it at length, with ease.

3 – Ask lots of questions of the event organizer ahead of time, to find out the size of the room, equipment, expected number of attendees, etc. Visit if possible.

4 – Talk to people in the audience before you speak. If you have a chance to meet some of them before the speaking date, or at least before you talk try to mingle a bit and find out what they expect. It is good to have an ally in the audience, and it is great for you to know what they expect to hear.

5 – Reduce ‘separation anxiety’ by reframing it as an ‘informative conversation’
within a group. Talk to them, not at them.

6 – Remind yourself during to slow down, pause, breathe, relax and smile.

7 – Prepare point-form notes or cards and practice a lot with family, friends, etc.

8 – Research as much as you can ahead of time, so you can be an up to date expert on the subject of what you are talking about.

9 – Always relate directly to your audience. Making your speech relevant to your audience is key to their enjoyment and interest.

10 – What is the overall focus? Is it to inform, to entertain, to motivate, to shock your audience? Your whole speech needs to be centred around this vision.

Speakers Gold talent Search

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I recently was invited to attend a local speaking competition, held on June 21st, here in Toronto. I was in the audience of about 40 people, and there were 10 speakers, who each had only 3 minutes to express themselves in a way that impacted the audience, and their 3 judges.

The first 2 speakers had English as a second language, and so right off the bat I want to say how brave they are! Public speaking is never easy, even for seasoned pros like me, but to use a second language? Wow. My hat goes off to them.

I noticed a lot of speakers were talking about overcoming their own personal tragedies in life, and using it to empower or motivate others. This reminded me more of a Life Coaching seminar, of which I have attended a few. (Studying Life Coaching actually brought me to starting Communication Coaching…).

Effective public speaking has certain rules of engagement, like getting the audience involved, building rapport with them, eye contact, moving around the stage, and building sympathy or empathy. Although I felt at times that some of the participants were ‘guilt-tripping’ us in the audience, perhaps that was just due to their 3 minute time constraint. Had this event been billed as “Speaking of Courage” or the like, it would have been perfect.

Nevertheless I want to say that everyone did a great job, and there were a few outstanding speakers, which I really enjoyed watching. I wondered to myself if they get nervous like I do, right before they go on stage? I’ll never know for sure, because a good public speaker always remembers the golden rule: It’s okay to be nervous. Expect it. But never let them see you sweat!

For more information on Speakers Gold, visit them here: www.speakersgold.com

Have a great week and enjoy your upcoming long weekend! Happy Canada Day! (July 1st for those out of the country…)

Communicating Loyalty to Staff

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I recently attended a seminar where the presenter talked about the value of good or even great customer service in all types of industries. He actually has a background in the restaurant and hospitality industries, so as you can imagine there was a lot of discussion about good and bad service at restaurants, and how to handle complaining customers, even if you are sure they are ‘scamming’ you for ‘free-bees’. His solution was across-the-board give in and put out. Give in to their complaints and give them complimentary food, coupons, etc. I have to admit my stomach was unsettled.

Many of us have heard the mantra “The customer is always right.” But my question is, what type of message are we, as a worker, a manager, a company or a society giving when we give in 100% to fraudsters? Does that very act not devalue our company? Does it not encourage people to continue to shout loudly for free stuff? And how do you think your company waitresses, clerks, phone operators etc. feel when they are told they must accept the abuse?

Years ago when I worked for a global financial company I had the dubious honour of working both customer service AND collections! So my phone calls were often dealing with angry or complaining clients. I developed some pretty cool conflict management techniques, which I can share with you another time. But for today I want to tell you about the time a client called and was complaining loudly, swearing, and not listening to my calm appeals to slow down, and to dignify her language.

I advised her to stop swearing, and when she didn’t stop, and wouldn’t listen to a word I was saying, I simply hung up on her! Yes, you heard me, I disconnected the call.

She called my manager and obviously complained about that action, to which my manager asked me to tell her the reason. I explained that the client would not calm down and refused to heed my warning about her foul language, so I disconnected.

My manager thanked me, returned to her desk, took the client off hold, and said “yes the reason why Ric hung up on you is that we do not tolerate aggressive or abusive language here.”

The client was shocked for 5 seconds, and then immediately began apologizing for her previous behaviour, and then my manager went on to help her get the problem sorted out peacefully, which any one of us could have done had the client been calmer in the first place. I was very proud of my manager that day.

We often want our clients and customers to be loyal to our company right? Well we cannot forget to be loyal to our front-line workers, staff and managers. Loyalty seems to be a two-way street, and many of us are sick and tired of taking abuse because of an old mantra. So take care of your workers and they will take care of your customers. Loyalty must be communicated in the company first, and then it will be communicated outside as well, with little problem. Set some ground rules for your staff on how to handle complaints, and let them know you will support them, and not leave them dealing with angry people all by themselves. Build a strong team for a successful business! 

This story is always included in my customer service training, because it’s important for both staff and management to come to an understanding of the policies during a conflict resolution that gets out of hand.  Often this article is a starting point for that conversation.  🙂

The 3Ps of Communication

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Before I tell you about the 3Ps, I just want to thank all of you who have attended my previous workshops/coaching sessions. Thank you very much for your support and your referrals. Remember, I take requests! So please, get in touch with me if you have any questions about small group or private coaching, on any communication challenge you would like to overcome.

Okay, here we go:

The 3Ps are easy to remember and implement. They are something you can keep in the back of your mind when you are communicating in person, over the phone or in writing to give the proper, purposeful tone that you would hope to get from others.

Professional – yes, the first one was a no-brainer. But what exactly does it mean to be professional? It means to be diplomatic, to not show stress, to listen carefully to others who may be complaining or challenging you, and it means to keep in mind at all times that you are a reflection of your company or organization. You cannot afford to take things personally.

Polite – This means at all times, especially in Canada, using or even over-using polite words, phrases and intonation. Notice that it is not enough just to use the words and phrases. We must use a sincere tone, or else we lose credibility. Snapping a “Well I’m sorry, but that’s our policy” to a customer is not perceived as polite. What would you think? What would you prefer to hear? Care about your company, your job, your role. Try to help people even if they are angry and blaming you.

Positive – Use positive words and phrases. Use open body language. Talk about what you or ‘we’ CAN do in the situation, not CANNOT do. Focus on the solution. If you must give negative feedback, accentuate the positive first. Use phrases like ‘remember’, instead of ‘don’t forget’. Use ‘I’ statements not ‘you’ statements, to show your feelings, not a finger-wagging accusation.

Remember the 3Ps of successful communication the next time you are doing business, and I am sure you will inspire others to follow your lead.

Toronto Communication Workshop – This Sat. Feb. 24th!

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brasiMPACT: Communication Skills Refinement; Impact and Influence

An intensive, hands-on communications training workshop designed to help individuals maximize their potential for team work and leadership. Training includes practical work in the classroom on accent improvement, presentation & public speaking skills, understanding body language, and other applied communication skills.

This is ideal for immigrants working or wanting to work in a professional environment.

BRASI (Business Research And Service Institute) has been running training courses for higher productivity since 1981. You need not be affiliated with BRASI to join this workshop.
Ric Phillips, Communication Coach, will be teaching and running the workshop.

This workshop will be held at the York University Executive Learning Centre (Schulich) from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM
Lunch will be provided. Free parking as well!

Cost is $185.00.

If interested please visit this link to register:

http://www.brasi.org/english.php

You can contact Aftab Khan directly at 416-388-8556 or Ric Phillips at 416-429-7935.

We hope to hear from you soon!

Thank you.

R-E-O Improves Your Active Listening Skills

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Active listening skills are important to utilize in your everyday life, in the workplace and at home. Passively listening while multi-tasking several things can give the impression that you are not paying attention, and could cause people to avoid you or maybe even resent you.

Recently I met a senior manager at a global financial company who has had the benefit of over 20 years of the best sales and management training.  He knew that we all need a reminder once in a while of the simple communication strategies that work best. He agreed that active listening skills are very valuable and can make the difference between a sale and a loss.  Also, he mentioned that we do not want our colleagues to think that we are not listening, or do not care about their problems. Active listening can really help.  Here is a simple formula to help you – REO.

R – Reflect back or ‘paraphrase’ their main ideas, content, key words and ideas. You need not use the exact same phrase or sentences; rather just serve back the message that you got their main points. The beauty of this is that it immediately gives an opportunity to clear up any miscommunication right at the beginning of the conversation, as opposed to getting halfway through only then to realize you weren’t following the whole picture, and you have to start again from the top.

E – Empathy is a showing of a shared feeling and understanding of the emotional impact of the speaker’s situation. Do not judge, and please hold your own opinion. If you need to illustrate that you understand, briefly mention the basics of your story. This is not the time to take over the conversation. Your job is to listen actively and pay attention to their emotional state and body language. This is why you must be making eye-contact to be a good listener!

O – Open-ended questions can be asked to get more information, background, details that will help you and them discover a solution to the problem. We cannot ask a question that begs a Yes or No answer. We must ask questions that have them talking freely, in their own words. For example we should not ask “Are you going to request a transfer?” but rather ask “What are your options on changing your current situation?”

Also, please remember to be careful with starting your questions with the word ‘Why’. It usually sounds like you are challenging or criticizing the person. For example, “Why are you taking vacation now?” could be changed to “What are the reasons of taking your vacation now, as opposed to next month when things have slowed down here?”

I hope you find R-E-O a useful communication tool. As always feel free to contact me should you have any questions or comments about posts, ebooks, workshops, or personal coaching.

Upcoming Communication Workshops

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Hello everyone,

Recently I have been getting a lot of calls and emails regarding effective communications training from individuals, companies, the government, and NPOs. It seems to me that the demand for soft skills is greater now than it ever was. Coinciding with this is the boom of semi or highly-skilled immigrants coming into Canada.

Let me just remind everyone that these days in business it is not enough to just have hard skills. We must be able to communicate effectively with others in and outside our workplace, to build rapport easily, to understand what body language says, to choose our words carefully, to deliver the correct message, and most importantly, to listen carefully and correctly interpret others’ meaning behind their words.

On that note, I’d like to broadcast an upcoming joint-venture workshop. If interested please follow the link or cut and paste it into your browser, or contact me directly.

Communication Skills Refinement; Impact & Influence
York University Learning Centre – Sat. Feb. 24th 2007, 9am-3pm

http://www.brasi.org/english.php

I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome and thank BRASI (Business Research And Service Institute) for organizing this and future workshops for newcomers to Canada and the Supply Chain Professionals.

Finally I’d like to include the new link to my interview article that ran in the Toronto Sun/Jobboom.com January 10th 2007, as the original link from that day has expired, and has been replaced with this permanent one.

http://jobboomcc.canoe.ca/News/2007/01/10/3279736.html

Thank you all, and remember that if you have any comments, requests for topics or any questions about the communication coaching process, please do not hesitate to ask.

Proof that Networking Works!

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I recently attended a Networking Seminar, hosted by the Pakistani Professionals Forum of Canada (www.ppfcanada.com) where the famous author/presenter/columnist Colleen Clarke (www.colleenclarke.com) was the guest speaker.

Now for me, this was an early Christmas gift, as I have been reading Colleen’s columns for 3 years now, and incorporating her articles into my coaching/teaching sessions whenever I help people with their employment skills, cover letters, resumes, interviewing techniques etc.

During group discussion at the seminar I had mentioned my opinion on how immigrants could better enter or deal with the Canadian professional workforce. Simply speaking, I suggested that there will be at least 3 cultures on the table: Canadian, Original or Mother Country, and Corporate Culture. So, which one is the easiest for everyone to find some common ground?

The International business culture for sure. Yes it is important that new Canadians understand why we love hockey and Tim Hortons, and why we think we are in some ways better than Americans, and why B.C. hates Ontario. And it is also important that the Canadians learn about other cultures, rituals and histories, especially those belonging to our new co-workers, bosses or clients. But the easiest starting point for anyone is the business or corporate culture of North America. This is the easiest transition for an immigrant.

So if you are a newcomer to Canada, make sure that you are learning how to write letters, memos and emails in our style. Make sure you are learning which expressions and idioms are acceptable. Make sure you are learning business etiquette on the simple things like how to shake hands with a smile and eye contact, how to negotiate without being perceived as too strong or too weak, how to make small talk with your co-workers at the water-cooler. We all agree that hard skills are not enough these days in Canada. We need excellent soft skills too.

Speaking of, after the seminar I approached Colleen to buy her book and chat once more, i.e. network! That evening she called me and interviewed me on my views previously mentioned in the seminar. We talked for 20 minutes and had great rapport. I believe she will cite me as a reference in an upcoming weekly article. I felt thankful that my ability to communicate my ideas in the seminar and face to face had paid off with a new, important contact. My story is more proof that effective professional communication skills are important for networking, for understanding, for success in business here.

Do you know anyone who is in need of small talk, rapport-building skills? If so, please direct them to my website (www.communicationcoach.ca) and let them know I offer free consultations.  🙂

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and let’s all have a bright, successful money-making New Year!