Category Archives: Speak English Better

accent reduction, idioms and slang, grammar, vocabulary, ESL challenges.

Confident Verbal Communications

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Here is a sample of what was taught at a previous public 3V communication skills workshop to help our participants communicate their confidence:

Even though only 7% of our communication is verbal, which is our word choice, phrases and expressions used etc. we still need to acknowledge the impact of what we say on others.

A confident person knows when he or she is good at something, and trusts themselves at all times. They know that the words we say affect our belief system. Not cocky, not meek, a confident person simply states the truth.

Now you finish these sentences with confidence!

I am…

I will…

I trust that…

I can…

I’m able to…

Yes, that’s correct. I am…

I trust you. You can do it. I know because…

We also sometimes use ‘softeners’ when we want to be more diplomatic, professional, non-aggressive and non-offensive. A confident person never wants to offend anyone, and is not easily offended either. They always take the higher ground. They are expert managers of conflict. They are excellent listeners and have developed their empathy levels. They have no need to assert their strength to put others down. They can defend themselves politely, yet firmly. They do not argue. They discuss.

Some example softeners are below.

Would you mind…?

Could you please…?

Could I ask…?

Is it possible to…?

I’m wondering if…?

How do you feel about…?

I’m curious to know…

Sometimes changing a small phrase in your sentence or question will make all the difference between being a confident communicator or a wishy-washy or even offensive speaker. Remember that the next time someone tries to bully you as well.  

All the best!

“What is NLP and how can I use it to improve my communications?”

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This was a valid question given to me recently by one of my coachees. At first NLP can seem (and sound) daunting and scientifically complicated, but I can help you simplify it and use it everyday.

First of all, NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. If you are thinking “brain-language training” you are correct. NLP assists in re-programming or re-conditioning your sub-conscious responses to certain words and situations. Actually it has been around for a while in the coaching world. Richard Bandler and John Grinder founded it in the mid-seventies, heavily based on hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson’s work.

Do you know the name Anthony (Tony) Robbins? This self-help life coach and motivational speaker (although he hates to be called that) uses the same techniques, but calls them neuro-associative conditioning. I remember seeing Tony Robbins live at a Toronto conference last year. He was amazing, and certainly knew how to ‘condition’ the audience with excitement and energy!

Okay, history lesson over – here is the NLP lesson for today:

…because…

This pattern is useful to help influence, persuade or sell things. Why? Because we are conditioned since childhood to believe whatever answer comes after ‘because’ must be the truth. Think about your childhood. When you did not know an answer to a question, you asked your parents, your teacher, your religious leader. When you asked Why… they answered Because… and it was good enough for you. So even today, as an adult, we are still conditioned to accept the reasons given after this key word as truth. Here is an example of it in use:

Taking your communication skill-set to the next level is beneficial to you because you are aware of the strong need for soft skills in today’s workforce.

OR

Because you know excellent personal communications will benefit your career, you will sign up for Ric’s communication training immediately. (ha ha!)

That is it for now. This is just one example of an NLP word-pattern. As we go along I will introduce more to you, or you can do some research on your own. Now go and practice your new pattern-word on someone, and please check out the coaching programs on this site if you think it will benefit you or someone you know.

Thank you all!

PS – for those of you using English as a second language, I have almost finished creating a new ebook on English idioms, and how to use them wisely. Stay tuned for this new resource.

Thanks again to all of you!

Are You Afraid of Phoning?

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Have you ever had the chance to call someone, but you didn’t? Maybe you sent an email instead, or maybe you said to yourself “Oh, I don’t need to call, he/she knows what I am thinking.” It is strange but true, many people, not just ESL students and immigrants, have a fear of phoning (in English).

It is easy for me to tell you “don’t be shy” but I realize that every time you speak to someone in English, you feel you are being judged in proficiency, and even in intelligence. I have been working with non-native English speakers since 1994 and I can also tell you that when I was teaching at a teacher’s college in rural China (Tongren, Guizhou) from 1998-2000 I also felt people were judging my intelligence by how I spoke Chinese to them.

However I took a lesson from the Spanish speakers of the world – they are never shy to try to speak English! Yes I know the Spanish alphabet and language are closer to English than some others, especially Asian languages, but I want to make a short point here – don’t be shy! That’s right, the more you try, the further you progress. There is no sense waiting until your English is ‘perfect’ because you are only hurting yourself. So the next time you have an opportunity to call someone, just try. Here are some quick tips to help:

1 – prepare unknown vocabulary ahead of time so that you can not only speak more precise words but you can listen more effectively.  Learn ISV – industry-specific vocabulary – to help.  For example, before calling to order a pizza, study the online menu or brochure to make sure you know the meaning and proper pronunciation of the main parts of the conversation, like delivery, fees, toppings etc.

2 – ask the other speaker to speak slowly if you are not catching everything right away.  

3 – Ask the speaker to speak up if their volume is hard to hear. 

4 – remember are all human and there are millions of people calling everyday who are not native speakers, so you are not the only one!  🙂 

Is a Fear of Phoning Killing Relationships?

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A couple weekends ago I was involved in a training course in downtown Toronto and had to be at a particular hotel for the event both Saturday and Sunday slightly before 9am. Saturday morning I left my home late and decided to take a taxi, to ensure I was not late for the event (first impression management 101 – don’t be late!). I got a very nice cab driver, originally from Ethiopia, and we had a pleasant talk along the way. Like a good businessman he asked if I was going to need a taxi for Sunday’s trip downtown, to which I replied yes. So we agreed that he would pick me up in front of my home at 8:30am, and that he would call me so that I would know when he had arrived. I gave him my business card which has my address and phone numbers (including cell) on it and we left with a handshake, smile and a solid plan.

The next morning it was 8:40 am and I still had not received his call. Not at my residence and not on my cell. I decided to go to the street to see if he was there. He was not. So I had no choice but to walk a bit to the main intersection and catch a new cab. I did so, and as I was getting into a new cab at 8:43am I thought I saw out of the corner of my eye the cab from yesterday, whizzing down my street, I suppose looking for me.

I got in my new cab and arrived on time downtown. All the time I wondered why he didn’t just simply call me, at home or on my cell, just to tell me he was on his way, or that he would be 5 minutes late. I would have waited for an extra five, even though he should have been prompt, as he knew I had a deadline.

The fact is many people have a fear of calling. Whether you are an immigrant or visitor not sure of your English proficiency, or a native speaker who somehow feels embarrassed, many of us do not call when we should.

I have talked to many ESL students and immigrants here in Toronto over the years, and it is really interesting to ask them a simple question – have you ever ordered a pizza by yourself? The answer is quite often no. Interesting when we know they have the English ability and vocabulary, but they lack confidence in their communications.

In my coaching and training we deal with the issue of how and when to call and how to make it appropriate for the situation. Hopefully when we recognize that a business or personal relationship can be damaged or even lost over a simple phone call or lack thereof, it will help us get over that feeling that it could be embarrassing, and make us realize that a quick phone call, like to tell someone that you will be late, can really go a long way in showing respect and empathy for others. This improves how others view you and in turn, how they treat you.

Hey, Learn Some English Idioms!

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English Idioms are words, phrases, or expressions with a meaning that cannot be derived from the literal translations of the individual words. English Idioms are used in everyday life, work, school, the arts, business, activities, events and sports.

When you use idioms appropriately, it makes your English sound more fluent and more in line with what a native English speaker talks like on a daily basis. In short – you sound better, feel better and fit in faster.

Example 1:

We use the idiom “behind the times” to describe someone who is old-fashioned and has methods, practices, technology or even ideas that are regarded as out-dated.

(A) Some of my clients are so “Behind the times”

(B) Mine too, they have to call their trades in rather than use the web-broker.

Example 2:

When someone does something “behind your back”, the action, event or task was performed without telling you.

(A) Did Fred tell you he was taking the car?

(B) No, he took the car behind my back. I didn’t even know it was gone.

Example 3:

When you “make a beeline” for a place or object or location, you head there directly and quickly without allowing distractions. Many people think that bees fly directly to flowers without any delays so a “beeline” is named after this characteristic.

(A) Did you see Ross make a beeline for those cookies?

(B) Yeah, he walked straight up to the dessert table and helped himself to the chocolate chips.

These examples are taken directly (with permission) from an English Idioms Blog. If you would like to find more idioms, please visit the blog directly at:

English Idioms Blog URL
http://english-idioms.blogspot.com

Which English is Best for You?

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The thing about English is that there are always going to be different accents, different key words chosen to be stressed, different spelling rules and even grammar arguments.

But which English is best for you?

Frankly it depends on two things: personal choice and location.

Regarding personal choice, some people who learn English as a second language may prefer British English or American English etc. over others, and continuously work on making that accent perfect over time. No problem.

Others see the value in adapting to the host country or new country that you now live in, as that will make others more comfortable with you, and in turn you will communicate faster with them. This is what I preach to my clients and students.

The other thing to remember about location is not just your location but the location of the listener. So for example, even though I am a 100% native Canadian English speaker, I may choose to adapt my language, words etc. to suit my conversation partner.

It could be an important business deal or a first contact on a possible international partnership. So in these cases it is okay for me or anyone to try to make the listener feel comfortable. Please note that I would never ‘fake’ an accent to try to get a business deal done or in an attempt to make someone like me!  But i may use some of their words and phrases to assist the communications.  Make sense? I welcome your thoughts.

Do Not Abuse Voicemail

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One thing I am sure we all hate is getting home after a long day’s work and checking phone messages, only to find out that half of the messages or more are from telemarketers. They leave a lovely message describing in painful detail all of the advantages of using their system, or buying their product, or selling our house with them, or hiring their moving company trucks…the list goes on. Thank you for wasting my time night after night!

Similarly, we come into work in the morning or after lunch and we have a bunch of voicemails that are long, drawn out, unclear and basically require us to listen through them all just to turn around and contact the offender to find out what they really want. Then, when we check our email, there is a repeat message emailed to us! Wow – what a fantastic example of time-wasting.

If you are wondering why companies still employ telemarketers by the way, even though we all hate them, the reason is simple – it pays well to do so. Statistics state that 10% of an average company’s profits come from telesales. If you think that 10% is not much, please remember that for big companies, that means $100,000.00 or $1,000,000.00 or much more a year! Plus if we add the extra cost-saver of using outsourced overseas companies, we can see why companies still employ this headache-causing but effective marketing strategy.

So what can we do? Well how about answering the phone and telling them about your day for 15 minutes? That would cost their company money! However I know it is not the fault of the telemarketer, so why give them a hard time right? Maybe they need that job.

To return to my title point, please do not abuse people’s voicemail. This goes for personal and professional calls.

Before you actually dial the person’s number, make sure you can say in just a few sentences what you want that person to do next. Do not ramble on and on, and do not let them hear you thinking and breathing and checking your papers or your PC.

Call them and leave a nice ‘clean’ message that takes less than 30 seconds. We are all busy and checking email and phone messages are big time-consumers. Necessary evils, yes, but we need to respect our time and the time of others.

Here are some examples:

Hi John, sorry I’ve missed you. Give me a call back please after 4pm on my office number or after 7pm on my cell. I think we need to discuss the ABC report. Thanks.

Hello Mom, it’s me. Don’t worry, there is nothing wrong, I just want to know if you can call me back in the next few hours to discuss our upcoming day-trip to the park. I have some questions as to our agenda. Thanks, love you!

Hi Rob, this is Rachel at 123 Solutions Inc. I received your email attachment and just had a couple questions about it. Please give me a call back at this number … to discuss. Otherwise we can do this over email. Thanks and looking forward to working together.

Voicemail messages are best used to initiate contact only. Save the details for email or actually speaking to someone – live. Details are best used either in conversation, so both parties can write important information down and ask real-time questions to avoid misunderstanding, etc. or in an email that is written like a report or guide to a project.

If you can implement this simple strategy of leaving a short, simple and clear message on one main topic, you will do two things. You will encourage others to contact you to discuss the details (assuming they want to) and you will save them time, which they like. You will not waste their time like telemarketers often do and therefore you are training others to respect your time, as you respect theirs. It becomes a two-way street to more efficient communications.

Finally, I would also just like to remind everyone to ‘book-end’ your voicemails when you are contacting a new person for the first time. This means leaving your name and number clearly at the beginning and ending of your voice message. It takes a few seconds more, but it gives the listener two chances to write down your information. Then they do not have to listen to your message a second or third time and they can call you back faster. 🙂

Accent Reduction – Top 10 Tips Cont’d

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6 – Control your volume, and stress key content words to keep listeners focused. Content words are nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, numbers, and other descriptor words.

7 – Control your rhythm and pace. It is not a race! Use medium speed, and medium volume.

8 – Practice with tongue-twisters, alliteration and poetry. Get control of your speech!

9 – Keep a list of trouble spots (i.e. words, sounds) to practice morning and night in a logbook or diary. Build your own personalized textbook to practice every day.

10 – When in doubt of the correct pronunciation, use a good North American dictionary or British English dictionary, depending on where you are living or studying, to check the phonetic instructions of sounds and syllable stress.

Enjoy learning English, enjoy your new surroundings, and by all means practice accent reduction tips every day until your confidence in communication improves. Then, you will be able to speak with clarity and will find that your accent is no longer holding you back from achieving your goals. Learn to improve your accent, and then learn to speak through your accent!

Accent Reduction Top 10 Tips – Cont’d

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3 – Memorize useful North American or British slang, depending on where you are, and current idioms and expressions, etc. to integrate them whenever possible. If you are not sure if an idiom or expression is appropriate, ask a teacher, tutor or coach, or a trusted native English speaking friend.

4 – Buy a pronunciation book. Check for CDs in the back and whether they are British or American English. Adapt to your environment as best as you can with your accent. 

5 – Use a mirror to observe your lips, tongue and teeth positions, and observe others for correct positioning. Practice in the mirror every day. A good time is right after you are finished brushing your teeth.

Accent Reduction – Top 10 Tips

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It can be very exciting studying for a year or two in a foreign country, and every year thousands of ESL students travel to English-speaking countries to have an adventure, take a break from rigorous (i.e. difficult) studying at home, and learn some English.

At the same time, immigration is up in some countries, especially Canada, where the government has now incorporated more support, more programs and more funding to ensure that immigrants who arrive here can get employed a lot faster than what is currently the case. However, most students and immigrants will tell you that their perceived lack of English capability and their self-imposed shyness with using it can create a real barrier to not only employment, but all around enjoyment of their new or host country.

I have had the pleasure of teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) students and immigrants accent reduction since 1998, and have come to rely on a few tips to help the learner reduce their accent quickly.  Without further ado (i.e. delay), I give you my top 10 tips for accent reduction. Today will only be #1 and 2. Check my blog tomorrow for the next 2 tips, and so on.

1 – Imitate the desired accent and expressions of the people around you e.g. co-workers, T.V. and film characters, teachers, etc. This is not silly, it is vital (i.e. very important!)

2 – Record yourself and check your progress continuously. This way you can actually see/hear your progress, because it is easy to think that you are not making progress over time.

More to come tomorrow!