Category Archives: Confidence

confidence and confident self-assured communications to increase self-esteem and pride.

Giving Confident Presentations

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You can deliver confident and powerful presentations!

All it takes is a little preparation, some practice, and a winning mindset.

You’ve been asked to give a presentation. Congratulations! This is your chance to shine. If you’re like most people, you probably don’t like presenting very much.

So, read on for some simple tips you can use to conquer your worries. With these simple tips, you’ll be ready to go in no time, feeling confident, and fully prepared.

First, there are a few things I want to point out:

  1. Know that you were asked to present, because you can do it—you wouldn’t have been asked otherwise.
  2. No one really likes presenting. Some of the best, most well known speakers and actors have confessed to this. So, when you look out at your audience, know that you’re always in good company.
  3. What actually comes out of your mouth is only about 7% of what gets communicated. That leaves 93% to non-verbal communication. That means if your body language, tone, expression and gestures communicate confidence, you will come across as confident.

But just how do you create this confidence?

Here’s the secret: being prepared; practicing; and having identified beforehand, instant solutions for de-stressing.

Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right!”

So here is how you’re going to get prepared, confidently go in there, and knock their socks off!

Confidence builder #1: Know your content

  • Identify your key messages—bullet them in order so they tell a clear story.
  • Jot down cues for your key messages (e.g. on flashcards, paper, etc.).
  • Have them ready as back up (but remember to refrain from reading them word-for-word while presenting).
  • Enhance your messages with supporting tools and interesting visuals—it will be a perk for your audience, and it takes the spotlight off of you.
  • Be sure to tap into your resources—know a graphic design expert? A presenter? A communication coach? (he he!) Ask for their advice.

Confidence builder #2: Practice makes it a “piece of cake”

  • Practice delivery of your lines. Do this in the mirror.
  • You might feel funny talking to yourself, but it works.
  • Watch your body language.
  • Find your “confident look.”
  • Stand straight and be sure to use smooth hand gestures, and limit unnecessary movement (e.g. rocking back and forth from one foot to the other).
  • Practice until the words flow like water.
  • When you are ready, practice in front of a friend or two.
  • Ask them each for 3 things you did well and 1 thing you could improve.

Confidence builder #3: Create your “winning scene”

  • Visualize yourself delivering your presentation.
  • Then see your audience’s positive reaction.
  • What does that “winning scene” look like for you?
  • Visualize it over and over until you can see it so clearly, you know what colour of socks your boss is wearing!

Confidence builder #4: Go for it!

  • Identify ways to calm your nerves before you even begin: take deep breaths, or find whatever works for you.
  • Squelch any negative thoughts or concerns by envisioning your “winning scene.”
  • Think positive. Remember: “If you think you can, you can.”
  • As you present, keep eye contact with as many people as you can—this also conveys confidence.
  • If it helps, determine a shape in your mind and make eye contact around the room as though you were creating that shape with your line of vision.
  • Be sure to keep your pace s…l…o…w. Many of us tend to speed talk when presenting, and so, often what might sound slow to us sounds just right to the listener.

I hope this advice helps you with your next presentation. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I would love to hear from you – and offer free consultations.  🙂

The 7Cs of Effective Communication

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I am a big fan of themes! If you have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while now, you will notice that I like to use acronyms, abbreviations, and cute ways to remember things. This is due to my need and dare I say ability to take detailed information from various sources and condense it into an easy way to remember it, so that I can use it when I need it. Today we are travelling the ‘7Cs’ of effective communication.

Control – Control yourself, your body language, pace, tone, etc., and control the audience or listener. Control the topic and avoid big digressions, control your emotions, control the venue if possible so as to be in a comfortable area and room.

Conversational – do not lecture, do not whine, and do not get angry or over-emotional. Have a conversation. No matter what the other person or people do, in a meeting, negotiation, when a customer is complaining, etc. keep control and keep it conversational. This means back and forth, active listening, and not getting over-emotional for no good reason. Do not get sucked into an argument that will harm your image or relationships later.

Confidence – people are less likely to challenge you and more likely to follow you if you present yourself with confidence. Your voice should be loud enough and at a controlled pace, your body language should be strong (but not stiff) with a straight back, meaningful gestures, great eye contact, etc. and the content of your speech, presentation or point to be made should also come from a confident place, i.e. you know what you are talking about! Do not think that BS will work all the time with everyone. When you have researched and prepared well, you feel confident, and you can let that shine through!

Competency – you have to back it up. Whatever you are saying or selling, be not only prepared but able to back it up. You must be good at what you are suggesting others follow you on as well, if you are asking for a leadership role. Why should I listen to you? Answer that question before you meet the group.

Calm – If you are calm, they are more likely to both calm down others (if agitated) and to continue to communicate calmly. Control your breathing, pace, volume, etc. in a relaxed way. Use rhythmic gestures as well. Nothing fast and darting. Think yoga movements!

Clear – Do not beat around the bush. State exactly what you want people to do, or why they should follow you. Don’t let people guess your meaning. State clearly your objectives or desires, and people will respect you for your leadership and ideas. Please still include the 3Ps (Polite, Professional, Positive) when you deliver your message though.

Concise – Do not waste valuable time. Say what you have to say and ask what you need from your listener or team, and then let them go. When giving suggestions or advice or orders, give them with appropriate details delivered in a short, concise way.

I hope that you have learned how to use these 7Cs and can start implementing them today in your personal and professional communications. Any questions? Please do not hesitate to get in touch with me. Thank you all!

Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

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Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

The way that you move your body and walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and your confidence levels.

Let’s start with an exercise.
Imagine there are two people standing in front of you – one with “negative body language” and one with “positive body language”.

I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of these people.

 

Positive Body Lang.

Negative Body Lang.
How are they standing?

 
Where are their eyes looking?

 
Where have they got their head?

 
How are they talking?

 

 
How are they moving?

 

  

 

You know, how you feel at any moment in time is linked to what is going on in your head and how you are moving your body. The way that you move sends subconscious messages to your mind and this either helps or hinders the way that you feel.

Emotion is created by motion. If you sit still for a long period of time your natural energy levels automatically lower. And what happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat? Yes, you have more energy and you’re given a boost. I can’t stress how important it is to move and act confidently and positively.

You will give off all the right vibes to everyone around you and it will make them think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside.

Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as though you are.

So, how do you do this?

Well, controlled and with a purpose. Don’t saunter along aimlessly. Walk like you know exactly where you’re going and keep your head up, chin level. Gesture with your hands as you talk, it will create motion and you know what that leads to – EMOTION!

The right gestures also have a major impact on building rapport.  Smooth, engaging gestures work best, especially those that match and complement your words and speech patterns. And don’t forget to smile!

Think for a moment about your confidence role model.

One thing that he/she and confident people in general have in common is that they all probably smile a lot and are happier than their negative counterparts. It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile. So what I would like you to do is to start smiling more often.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face all of the time.

But smile as you walk down the street, when you talk to someone, even when you look in the mirror at yourself. You will be surprised at how better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

Remember that confident people are happy people and negative people are not.
Happy people are also seen as more attractive than unhappy and sad people so that is an added bonus!

So in closing, be aware that your body movements can and will affect how you feel and how others perceive you, and also remember that you can proactively help to project a confident image with some simple, minor adjustments any time of the day.

Body Language Quick Hints

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The way that we communicate non-verbally with our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others.

The manner in which you communicate your interpersonal skills are very important.  Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing.

The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into components, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions.  The 7-38-55 ‘rule’ is popular in lore, but it’s based on a small and limited experiments done in the 1960s by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, and is not meant to cover all scenarios of communication.  The studies he did concluded that 7% of communication (intended attitude and feelings mostly) comes through words, 38% through voice, and 55% through facial expressions.  However, even if the numbers are not exact in most scenarios, think of my “3 Vs” as a general principle:

VERBAL

% of our message is interpreted from the words we use, including grammar.

VOCAL

% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone, pitch, rhythm etc.

VISUAL

% is what the other person sees – our body language, gestures, environment etc.

The “3 Vs” would then make up a fourth – VIBE – the overall feeling we send and receive.

Whole books are written on body language, but here are some quick fixes and recommendations that you should start to put into practice:

· Dress to win – Look at your appearance and ask yourself:

· Do I feel confident?

· Do I look confident?

· What could I do with my appearance to give me the edge?

· Handshakes – Never give a limp wrist handshake, make sure it is firm but not too hard

· Smile a lot more than you have been doing – even if you are a comedian! Smiles generate trust, openness and more smiles!

· Walk tall with your head and shoulders back. Walk at a quick, controlled pace breathing calmly.

· When you talk to people look them straight in the eye.

· Keep on moving – Motion creates positive emotion!

· If you are ever feeling down, just have a look at your body language and change it immediately. You WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately. Take a brisk walk if need be.

· First impressions count – so when you are going to meet people for the first time, think of what first impression you want to give them. A smiling face? A good remark? Firm handshake? Etc. Life is filled with first impressions…over and over and over again!

· Take more notice of other peoples’ body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it. This is useful in meetings, negotiations, presentations, sales pitches, and yes, even on dates!

Good luck!