Category Archives: Interpersonal Communications

Interpersonal human communications

Social Media Communications – To Tweet or Not to Tweet!

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Hi folks. Have you tweeted yet today? That is the question.

If you don’t know what I am referring to, don’t worry it’s nothing dirty or too personal! It is what we do when we post an update of our life on the popular social media site Twitter.

I have recently had discussions about using current social media like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter with a few different people, and the potential benefits that can arise from being ‘on message’. Some people were managers, entrepreneurs, budding coaches, moms and new graduates. Here, in a nutshell, is my best advice that I gave them. I hope this helps you too, whether you are currently using social media like the above-mentioned, or a blog, or whether you are pondering the idea of setting up an account and profile but are not sure how to use it.

DO follow the trend. If it has not gone away after a few months, and if everyone is talking about it, including people on TV, you know it is a keeper. Stay current, especially if you need to advertise your product or service or have friends all over the place you want to really stay connected with.

DO share personal insights and stories. Sharing yourself (within reason) encourages others to appreciate your openness and respond in kindness. Building rapport is much easier when both people are sharing the same level of intimacy.

DO mix business with pleasure. There is nothing wrong with letting people know about your new blog, entrepreneurial venture, newsletter, ebook or condo for sale in your updates, as long as that is not the ONLY thing you are telling them. Share other aspects of your life too, and then it does not seem so out of place or ‘salesy’ when you want to let people know about something they might like.

DO NOT be afraid of today’s technology. It is even easier now than when I started in 2002. With a little research online you can find free and easy ways to set up a blog, website, newsletter, and of course, accounts in MySpace, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter. These days everything is drag n’ drop, import photo from your computer, WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) editing. There is no need to learn html or any other computer programming/language. Just point and click! Plus, these sites have online tutorials.

DO NOT jeopardize your job or education. Remember that everything you post online from an tweet to a text message is recorded somewhere. Complaining about your boss or teacher online is about as smart as advertising on bus benches that you cheated on your spouse! Some conversations are better left for the phone or face-to-face interactions. There have already been students disciplined and workers fired, regardless of what you and I may think of the ethics involved in such cases. Be prudent.

DO NOT lie. There is really no need for it. If you have something to say or something to sell, just let people in your online community know about it, and be satisfied with those interested parties that respond. People have gotten job interviews from these social mediums. Could you imagine if they lied online? What to do in the interview then? The same rules apply to online dating profiles. By lying you are only setting yourself up for embarrassment. People these days want to know what you are about before buying from your company too. On Twitter you can find profiles of coaches, sports teams, TV stations, restaurants, celebrities and of course – online marketers! Be careful not to get fooled by anyone though. It is still a ‘buyer beware’ world!

I hope you have found these tips on using current social media helpful. If you want to view my profiles or even follow me, here is where you can connect with me:

http://twitter.com/CommCoach (Twitter)

http://www.youtube.com/CommCoach73 (YouTube)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Toronto-ON/3V-Communications-Communication-Skills-Training/14886705364 (Facebook 3V Page)

*Please note I do not share my personal Facebook page with people I have not met. It is my personal space. However please join my Facebook group or follow me on Twitter.

Thank you,

Coach Ric

Are You Susceptible to Other People’s Opinions?

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Kevin Hogan has 3 new articles up this week to help your self-development.

1 – Getting Paid for What You Love
2 – Finding Yourself: Whose Life are You Living Anyway?
3 – SOOP – The Big Obstacle of Success (Susceptible to Opinions of Other People)

Interesting stuff. This week only. Click the above title or here:
http://kevinhoganprograms.com/aw.aspx?B=42&A=223&Task=Click
Enjoy!
Coach Ric

Be Assertive without Being a Jerk! (Real Confidence)

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A part of being confident is not giving into aggression – yours or anyone’s. We want to stand up for ourselves, but we don’t want to be pushy, be a bully, unreasonable or be perceived as a jerk. Kevin Hogan’s newsletter offered this excellent advice on being assertive without being aggressive:

Do’s and Don’ts of Assertive Behavior

Do:
Use Intelligent Communication
Exude Calm
Use Good Eye Contact
Be Aware of Body Language
Use a Confident Voice

Don’t:
Make Unreasonable Demands
Be Hostile
Use a Haughty Voice or Manner
Belittle the Other Person
Put the Other Person on the Defensive
Build Your Confidence to Become more Assertive

In order to be assertive, you will need to develop confidence in yourself. It is easier if you try to take this one step at a time. Let’s start off by just doing one small step and work from there.

I signed up years ago to receive interesting articles every week, like this one, from a true expert on communication, influence and persuasion.  If interested please check it out below.

Get the latest in persuasion news! Weekly ezine from Kevin Hogan. Yours free when you click here.

Influence: Being Assertive Without Being a Jerk

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Every Monday morning I get Kevin Hogan’s excellent free newsletter delivered in my inbox. This expert on persuasion, communication, body language, wealth etc. has many books, ebooks, Cds, DVDs etc. I have a few of his books/programs and I enjoy reading his articles. His homepage currently has a great article “Influence: Being Assertive without Being a Jerk”. Here is a sample:

Assertion simply means, “Hey honey, let’s go see your movie tonight and mine tomorrow night” or vice versa… and it really makes little difference who gets to go “first” because you aren’t four-year-olds….you are 40 and have gray hair…or you will soon.

Aggression is, “Dammit, you never do what I want to do and we are going to my movie tonight missey/mister or I’m outta here.” See, assertiveness training while well-intended can easily become… war college …where you learn to hurt people you love.

Ugh….

All assertion is, is stating what results you’d like to have and the help to get them, while you give help to others on the results they want.

AND

Assert: to state with assurance, confidence, or force; state strongly or positively; affirm. Insist on having one’s opinions and rights recognized.

Aggressive: ready to attack or oppose; quarrelsome. (and that’s just the first part…it gets uglier…like attacking…and so forth.)

As you can see, there is a canyon sized difference. They are on two different planes of behavior.

…

Interesting right? Enjoy the articles from a real expert as I do. Click the link below to see what he has to offer on his free newsletter, and other products.
Get the latest in persuasion news! Weekly ezine from Kevin Hogan. Yours free when you click here.

Enjoy!

Be a Great Public Speaker – Top 10 Tips

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Public speaking should not scare you to death, but the truth is, it is the number one fear for many people. Personally, after watching the movie Jaws when I was a kid, I can’t think of anything worse than being chewed up by a shark! However, it is important to recognize than the anxiety caused when we have to speak in front of others can be overcome. Hiring a Communication Coach can help you deal with this properly, so you can enjoy your public speaking, whether for business or social functions. For now, here are a few golden tips that you should keep in mind.

1 – Expect nervousness every time, but don’t expect disaster. Expect success.

2 – Stick to what you know well, so you can ‘talk’ about it at length, with ease.

3 – Ask lots of questions of the event organizer ahead of time, to find out the size of the room, equipment, expected number of attendees, etc. Visit if possible.

4 – Talk to people in the audience before you speak. If you have a chance to meet some of them before the speaking date, or at least before your talk try to mingle a bit and find out what they expect. It is good to have a few allies in the audience, and it is great for you to know what they expect to hear.

5 – Reduce ‘separation anxiety’ by re-framing the speech as an ‘informative conversation’ within a group. Talk to them, not at them.

6 – Prepare point-form notes or cards and practice a lot with family, friends, etc. No sentences. The less you read the better. Add pictures to your notes.

7 – Remind yourself during to slowdown, pause, breathe, relax and smile. Actually write those words in the top right-hand corner of your notes on different pages.

8 – Research as much as you can ahead of time, so you can be THE up to date expert on the subject of what you are talking about. Anticipate questions and have good answers.

9 – Always relate directly to your audience. It is not about you, but them. Making your speech relevant to your audience and their world is key to their enjoyment and interest.

10 – What is the overall focus? Is it to inform, to entertain, to motivate, to shock your audience? Your whole speech needs to be centred around this vision.

BONUS # 11 – To become a good public speaker and presenter, you simply must do a lot of speeches or presentations, long or short, in your personal or professional life. Tips and techniques help, but there is no real shortcut.  Get out there and get heard!

Coach Ric

How Do You Speak to Yourself?

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I know it is a rather odd question, but it is an important one. People like myself who study NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) understand that repeated words and phrases, no matter how innocent or simple they may be, may be interpreted by the brain as a command.

Yes, be careful what you say to yourself. Our self-talk conditions us subconsciously just like water torture. (No, I don’t mean water-boarding!) Water torture is when you let a drop of cold water hit a person’s forehead. After a few of these you may be thinking this is ineffective torture – it’s just water drops. But after a hundred, a thousand or more, it is like a spike being hammered into your skull! So is the result of a negative or self-defeating comment said to you by someone else or by yourself (self-talk) on a regular basis. For example, if you say these things: “I’m getting fat. Do you think I’m getting fat? I’m too fat.” Or if you hear “you look fat” etc. then what do you think will be the result? Your conscious brain will program yourself to believe you are heavier than you actually are and that everyone must think the same. Can you see how dangerous this is? We all fluctuate in actual weight and appearance of weight daily, depending on meals, water, mirrors, scales and choice of wardrobe. You are no different!

Prevent this negative programming. Stop yourself when the negative self talk comes about.  For help with this, check out other blog entries here (especially under the ‘confidence’ category) or take a look at my popular ebook (based on a popular coaching program!) called “Communicating Confidence Inside & Out – how to build confidence, be assertive and succeed!”

Dealing with Hot Topics & Current Affairs

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To be an effective communicator you have to be able to talk about current affairs and old, unsolvable contraversial debates (think abortion, death penalty, gun control, politics, religion etc.) without offending others, and at the same time without feeling that you have sold yourself out by not voicing your own opinions.

To add weight to your position I suggest you do some extra research on the topic – not just what the mainstream media is telling you. Get a wide range of information from across the spectrum – left wing and right wing – so that you are prepared to discuss the topic fully and are prepared for many counter-arguments ahead of time. Be open-minded, share information and learn. Do not argue and do not insist that others see your point to the point you are being a bully. Discuss and share, but at the end of the day they will absorb whatever they are willing and able to absorb on that day, just like you. Don’t push it, even if you think you are 99% right. It’s not about winning – it’s about respecting others and sharing info.  No one wins a heated argument anyway, right?  🙂 Hold yourself to a higher standard of intellectual as well as passionate conversation and you will be seen in a better light.

 

What is ‘ConfidenceWorld’?

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A very famous Life Coach & Business Coach out of the U.K. named Sean McPheat, who was a very big influence on my coaching career when I first started out, has a new website simply called “ConfidenceWorld”. Here you can sign up (no charge) and gain access to 30 articles, newsletters, a 120-page ebook, reports, a 7-part e-course, 4 audio downloads and great tips on building and maintaining confidence in your personal and professional life. There is a lot that he gives away for fr*ee, and at the same time, like any successful entrepreneur, he also lets you know that he has a Gold Membership, if you are interested, for a small one-time payment of 39 bucks only. The Gold membership has a lot to offer for sure, but like any smart shopper you probably want to get the f*ree stuff first and take advantage of the wealth of inspiring and confidence-building information. I did!  You can see that he is straight forward, clear and motivating – three good reasons why I have benefited immensely from his help over the years in developing my coaching style and practice, not to mention my ebooks. Thanks Sean!

Okay, right now, ask yourself how confident you are on a scale of 1-10, and if the answer is lower than an 8.5, you can benefit from this world of confidence that Sean provides. Check it out and enjoy his excellent articles, ecourse and so much more.  Just CLICK HERE.

If you need me for confidence and/or communication skills building, you know i offer coaching and training right?  just let me know!