Category Archives: Professional Communications

Professional office and other business communication strategies

Top 7 Tips to Surviving the Work Christmas Party

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‘Tis the season to be invited to Christmas (or ‘holiday’ or ‘festive season’, etc.) parties sponsored by your place of employment.  At first it sounds like a great idea:  take a day or half-day off work, mingle with friends and co-workers, eat free food and drink free booze.  What a great way to get into the spirit of the season and to start saying good-bye to this year and looking forward to the next one.  So what could be wrong with this picture?
At first, I personally did not see a problem with in-house celebrations.  It seems to build team spirit and gives employees and managers a chance to see each other in a more relaxed atmosphere, even presenting opportunities to get to know each other on a more personal level.  And herein lies the problem.
I remember way back in 1997 I was working in an office in Mississauga, Ontario and I was one of the youngest employees there at the time.  I was excited to be making a salary instead of a wage, and I was enjoying my job for the most part.  I remember one woman named Michelle who I had developed a friendship with and more to the point, a lot of respect for.  We were discussing the topic of Christmas parties (or any work-related social gathering for that matter) and she staunchly stated that she would never attend a work party.  I asked why, naturally.  She said that you go to a function on a Friday or Saturday, and by Monday morning, the atmosphere at work is suddenly different, because of some people’s (mis-)behaviours.  Tension is in the air, eyes are darting around, whispers are heard and rumours are milling around the water-cooler.  This is what Michelle did not like, and that is why she refused to attend work functions specifically where alcohol would be served. 
So what do you think of Michelle’s personal rule?  Is it a smart rule or is it too strict? 
I will let you decide.  I can tell you that I was a big fan of free food and drinks, and before she gave me her advice I was not thinking ahead to the next work week.  After I listened to her advice I decided that yes I would attend such functions, but I would be wary of my behaviour and monitor how much and how quickly I drank, if at all.  Here are a few common-sense tips to controlling your behaviour at a work party:
1 – Eat a decent meal before attending.  This is to avoid pigging out while you are there and also to avoid drinking on an empty stomach.  Displaying a voracious appetite is not professional, nor is getting loopy on one drink.  It will then be a long night for you, or worse, a very short one. 
2 – If you decide to drink, pace yourself.  Make a rule that you will have one drink per hour and actually take note of the time when you start and end your drinks. 
3- Sip, do not guzzle.  Some drinks just go down too fast and smoothly, don’t they?  But this is not a family summer BBQ, this is a work function and you will be judged Monday on how you carry yourself here and by what you say.  Try sipping on a light beer, or a cocktail that is not so appealing to you, like a scotch on the rocks or a martini.  This will force you to sip on it with more control.  This also allows you to constantly have a drink in front of you so you are not pressured to get another.  The ‘empty-hand’ syndrome causes us to feel out of place and so we often rush to get a replacement beverage.  This can accidentally cause over-drinking. 
4 – Be confident in your choices.  If someone challenges you on how many drinks you have had or something similar, I hope you can simply smile and tell the person the truth, or disengage from the conversation politely.  A confident person has no need to feel bad about limiting his or her drinking in public.  A confident communicator is aware of image management rules and is determined to have a happy Monday with no scandals created on their part. 
5 – Lie if you want to avoid peer pressure.  Sometimes a ‘white lie’ is useful as a communication tactic.  It is the art of mis-direction.  You can claim your 0.5 beer is a ‘real beer’.  You can brag that your cranberry juice is really a Cape Cod (vodka and cranberry).  Ask the bartender to give you a lime garnish even when your drink has no alcohol.  Looks can be deceiving.  Or better yet, claim that your second drink is really your third or fourth.  Please note that this is a tactic to use when you do not want to get caught up in the ‘competitive’ side of drinking that sometimes takes place, or if you are somehow feeling out of place for not drinking with colleagues, and you just want to fit in at the moment.  This rule is not as good as the above rule number four, but in a pinch, it can get you out of a competition that you do not want to enter.
6 – Be a leader not a follower.  Stick to your decisions and manage your image.  Do not get caught following the crowd or using the mob mentality as an excuse to do something out of character.  Also, if you see a co-worker or friend stepping out of their shell a little too much, take them aside discreetly and give them some friendly advice.  Let them know that you care about them and are concerned about their behaviour.  Speak to them as a mentor, not as a parent. 
7 – Manage people as well as yourself.  It is great to manage yourself but you also have the ability and perhaps even the responsibility to manage others.  For example, if a person comes up to you and starts flirting, and you are not comfortable with it, you could ‘play dumb’ and pretend that you think it is all a big joke.  Smile, laugh and walk away.  There is not always a need to make a big scene at the time.  Some incidents can be stopped easily before they get out of hand by using this technique.  In other words, you do not embarrass the other person and then on Monday you do not have the thick tension in the air, and do not have to have a formal meeting with managers, etc.  We have all said something or done something bold when we have been nervous or intoxicated.  We are all human.  Sometimes keeping their dignity in tact is a great gift that you can bestow upon them.   After all, is this not the season for gift-giving?
There are other rules and tips of etiquette that we could go over but for now I think that is enough to get you thinking of how you will manage yourself if and when you attend your holiday parties.  There are benefits to attending if you play your cards right.  A lot of business is done informally, or ‘on the golf course’ as we say.  However if you damage your image in the eyes of management then you will lose credibility and will not be considered so quickly for promotions.  You may even lose your job, if not formally, then by virtue of feeling embarrassed by your actions that you search for new employment.
I hope none of that happens to you.  I wish you all the best in this December and prosperity in the upcoming new year. 
Merry Christmas!!!
(Updated from original 2008 posted article)

The Possible Disadvantage of an MBA

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As a Communication Coach I train people in soft skills, both for the office and for their personal life.  I can tell you that a lot of my clients are people who have developed their hard skills but not their soft skills.  Many of my clients are from accounting/finance, I.T., engineering, etc.

Unfortunately I often meet those who have so much faith in their hard skills and/or their advanced education that it blinds them from realizing that a lack of social skills is keeping them from reaching the next promotion or pay raise.  Often when they run into a glass ceiling they are confused, and run out to sign up for the next available certificate program or University class.

I recently came across an article in the November 8 2010 edition of the Canadian Business magazine that compared the benefits of getting work experience first, then an MBA.  Here are some interesting quotes from page 25 that rang true for me, based on my experience with many of my clients:

“The survey found execs think that MBA schools are not effective in developing a student’s interpersonal skills”
“MBA’s learn how to work hard” said one respondent.  “However they may develop bad habits regarding the ability to communicate effectively, and can bring a degree of arrogance to their chosen profession.”
“…the value of an MBA was considerably more if the student had worked beforehand.”

This does not mean that everyone with an MBA has poor communication skills, but it does highlight a problem that exists, at least in the eyes of some execs and trainers.  Be aware of this challenge and if you have focused too much on your hard skills try to find balance with some soft skill training.  If you are a manager of someone who you think lacks effective communication skills then please consider finding them some training to help them and help your company be more successful.

(From online article at http://www.canadianbusiness.com )

Best,

Study Body Language at Home (Course)

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Hello,

Are you interested in improving your knowledge of how to really read people and in turn how to act for maximum effectiveness in meetings, at parties or anywhere else?  If so, please click picture below and see if this program fits your needs.  I am a fan of Kevin Hogan and subscribe to his newsletters, and have some of his books.  This guy is the real-deal.  I have learned a lot from him.  Enjoy the body language quiz on his website too!

Reading Body Language - Home Study Program

It Had To Be YOU!

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Question: What is most people’s favorite topic?

Answer:  Themselves!  Harvard Business School reports that “you” is
one of the top five selling words. Your listeners’ ears will perk up
when they hear you say the word “you” or “your” in your presentations
(this works in one-on-one conversations, too). In our workshops and
coaching sessions, we refer to this as the “You Factor.”
Increase your “You Factor” and you will increase your group’s attention
and retention of your ideas.

Here are a few examples of how it works:

Instead of saying: “This plan saves an estimated $10,000 each year.”
Say: “This plan saves you an estimated $10,000 each year.”

Instead of saying: “Forty percent of the population will contract heart disease.”
Say: “Forty percent of you and your loved ones will contract heart disease.”

Instead of saying: “This will significantly impact the bottom line.”
Say: “This will significantly impact your company’s bottom line.”

Instead of saying: The four areas I will discuss today are . . .”
Say: “The four areas you will learn about today are . . .”

Review your presentation notes and ask yourself: “Where can I add impact
and connect better with my audience by using the “You Factor”?
Remember… It had to be YOU!

Reprinted with permission from David Greenberg’s
Simply Speaking, Inc. 1-888-773-2512 or 404-518-7777
http://www.davidgreenberg.com

Speaking with Confidence (the 3V Way)

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Many people ask me how they can communicate with more confidence when they speak.  They ask if it is a matter of vocabulary choice, of speaking louder, or dressing in a new suit.  Today I would like to give some advice on that subject to you my readers.
First things first – understand that effective communication is not just about one aspect of communication.  It is not enough to just start using “power words” and expect everyone to bow down to your great communication skills, and give in to your new sales pitch.
My company name says it all:  3V Communications.  You need to evaluate how you are communicating verbally, vocally and visually.  Here are some techniques to use to help you speak confidently:
Verbal: 
Do so-called power words help?  Sure.  It is always a good idea to have a deep vocabulary so that you can chose the correct word to give your speech or conversation a concise meaning.  The key is to have a word or phrase that is presented simply, yet it is powerful.  Do not ramble on trying to impress someone with your vocabulary and your knowledge of business lingo.  Short and concise will produce a confident result.  Also use strong, more committed words like “yes”, “will”, “able to”, “100%” etc. and use superlatives as well.   For example:
“The United States is 100% committed to protecting its citizens from terrorists.”
“Toronto is the most multicultural city I have ever seen.”
“Cubans are the best salsa dancers in the world.”
Vocal:
Speak loud enough to be heard by everyone, without yelling.  Speak from your diaphragm, which is an old actors’ technique.  Speak to the person at the back of the room.  When you are speaking confidently you must speak at a medium pace that uses appropriate and dynamic stressing of your key words.  We should also add eye contact and body language gestures to match our stress and intonation.
Examples of important stressing:
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Too plain and not enough feeling)
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.” 
(Too much emphasis on you and your company’s desires.  Could come off as pushy.)
“Our company wants to do business with you so let’s make a deal today.”
(Much more rhythmic and dynamic when spoken with a firm but friendly voice, and is balanced as well.)
Visual:
Visual communication makes up the biggest chunk of our intended feeling and attitude that is conveyed.  To show confidence you must have great posture, use lots of eye contact, smile often (when appropriate), have hand gestures that are in sync with your verbal and vocal communications, and you must know how to dress for success.  You must understand first and foremost which clothes look and feel best for your body type (i.e. not too tight, not too baggy) and you need to be dressed appropriately for the occasion. 
If you are wearing an item of clothing that you have had for 5 or more years, think very carefully to yourself how others view it before you wear it again.  It is important to realize that some people out there, particularly in the business world, have a keen sense of modern fashion and will judge you based on that if they see you are wearing a splashy tie, baggy slacks, scuffed shoes, a shirt with a collar that is the wrong size, shoulder seams that rest on your biceps, etc. 
For women they also need to be aware of outdated fashion, wearing huge shoulder pads, wearing hair and make-up styles from the 1990s, heavy perfume, and once again not wearing body type-appropriate clothes. 
Since I am not a fashion expert I will simply tell you that there are a number of fashion websites, blogs, books and magazines available as well as image consultants, should you need one.  Most people don’t, fortunately, if they listen to their trendy spouse or friend. I myself have gone through a number of changes in my dress over the last few years, all for the better I assume, because I listened to my fiancée/wife.
If you are not sure how confidently you are coming across, maybe it is time to ask someone you trust to review your 3Vs and see if there is any way to speak and be seen with more confidence.  If you need me, just let me know.
All the best,

Transfer Worker from China gets Speaking Award

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Hello everyone,

I would like to share an email I received today from Grace, one of my private coaching clients here in Toronto.  (I have her permission to share this.)  Before I do I just want to give you a little background on her.  She has been transferred here from Shanghai, China, and works for a large financial institution.
In addition to working with me to improve her business English (which by the way is already really good) I coach Grace on interpersonal and professional communication skills.

Currently Grace is enrolled in a fun, dynamic Dale Carnegie course, which I fully support.  However, I had the opportunity and ability to take her DC training further, by adding to what she was learning and advising her on how to improve her public speaking.  (There are advantages to one-to-one training over large group workshops, right?) 

Here is the unedited email I received today:

Thanks a lot, Ric!

I can’t wait to share the great news with you that I won the
Breakthrough Award yesterday at my Carnegie’s class!

I did restructure my story as you suggested and applied the body
language you taught me. My classmates were very impressed and voted
me as the winner of the night. I think the credit goes to you.
Without your help and inspiration, I would never get there. Thanks
so much!!!

Grace

_____________________

No Grace, thank YOU for being a hard-worker and a brave public speaker in English as a second language.  It is not easy.  Keep up the good work in your DC class as well as in our coaching sessions!

Coach Ric

Winning Body Language

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Hello my friends,

Recently I have had the pleasure of reading a new book on body language and presentation skills that I found most interesting and useful for improving my client’s professional communications.

Many leaders know the feeling of talking yet no one is listening! Often, it is not the actual words causing the audience to tune out, but the way the words are being communicated.

Last week I sat down over a coffee with the author, Mark Bowden, and we discussed the need for effective communication skills and specifically some of the main points in his book. Mark is a world-renowned body language expert and the creator of TruthPlane, a unique communication and presentation training used by Fortune 50 companies, CEOs and G8 Leaders. His new book Winning Body Language explains how we mainly rely on nonverbal communication to determine what we think someone else’s intentions are when they communicate to us.

Here are the top three techniques from Mark’s book on presenting body language that will help you make your intentions clear, and gain trust and attention when you speak.

#1
PUT YOUR BODY ON DISPLAY
When speaking, step away from the podium; when sitting at a meeting, pull your chair back from the table to display more of your body. Your audience’s instinctual “Reptilian” brain and emotional “limbic” brain need to see your body to make a decision about what your intentions and feeling may be towards them. The less information they see, the more they simply make those feelings and intentions up, and tend to default towards the negative. Simply speaking, being open indicates honestly and trust. Hiding parts of your body indicate deception and danger to the primitive brain.

#2
SPEAK FROM YOUR BELLY
Place your hands in the “TruthPlane”, the horizontal plane that extends 180 degrees out of your navel area, to display that you can be trusted. This is a very vulnerable area of your body so to bring an audiences’ unconscious attention to it makes them (and you!) feel like you are very confident. This is a simple technique that you can incorporate right now to enhance your meetings and presentations.

#3
GET THEM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND
Show your palms open with nothing in your hands, to let others know that you mean no harm and are speaking for their benefit. This gesture is universally recognized across the world as “friendly”. So, when someone else is speaking keep your hands in the TruthPlane so that they understand you are open to what they are saying too.

For more information on Mark Bowden, TruthPlane and his new book Winning Body Language, I have attached his contact information below:

Mark Bowden
Web: http://www.truthplane.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/truthplane

Enjoy!!
– Coach Ric

How to Write an Effective Email by Susan Adams

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How to write an effective e-mail
by Susan Adams, Forbes.com
Monday, August 9, 2010
provided by forbes

Get to the point, keep it short, and assume it’s public, say the experts.

In July 2008, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford e-mailed his Latin lover, praising “the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light.” That now-public note is just the latest example of how even the most politically savvy pro can be an idiot when it comes to electronic mail.

Cardinal rule numero uno: Assume that e-mail is public. Even if you’re sending it over a secure server or to an account you think you’ve set up in secret, if people want to read your notes and share them with the world, they will.

Despite e-mail’s growing ubiquity, few have mastered the art of writing an effective one. In an effort to compile some pointers on how to do so, we consulted three experts: Will Schwalbe, co-author with David Shipley of Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home; Mark Hurst, author of Bit Literacy: Productivity in the Age of Information and E-mail Overload; and Peter Post, one of the directors of the Emily Post Institute and author of five books on etiquette.

Evidence that the dos and don’ts of e-mail have yet to solidify: The experts disagree on several pertinent points. While Peter Post insists on polite salutations (“Dear Mr. or Ms.”) and courteous endings (“Sincerely”) and recommends always using an e-mail signature at the end of a business note, Hurst says none of that matters. “Is he set up to run a steam-powered computer and read through his monocle?” Hurst sniffs.

For his part, Post says emoticons have no place in business e-mail. On the contrary, say both Hurst and Schwalbe; because irony and humor are so frequently misconstrued in e-mail notes, the emoticon offers a quick, effective way to convey feelings. “Emoticons are necessary,” Hurst maintains, “because there is no subtlety in e-mail, and jokes do not transmit well.”

Quibbles aside, there are e-mail rules on which our experts agree. Among the most important: Get to the point immediately. Keep your notes as short as possible. Avoid extended blocks of text by breaking up your writing into short paragraphs or bullets. And keep in mind what we all already know: Everyone is busy and gets too much e-mail.

One more caveat: When you receive a rude or angry note, do not reply right away. Negative emotions can escalate all too quickly in e-mails. “Just delete it,” advises Hurst to those who receive a cranky missive.

Or here’s a novel idea: Pick up the phone.

Source:
http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/personal-finance/article/forbes/1767/how-to-write-an-effective-e-mail

Email Advice: 5 Quick Tips to Improve Communication

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1 – Remember that people only have your words, phrases and punctuation to try to understand and ‘feel’ your meaning in text, so choose them carefully. Be concise and not too emotional. Stick to the point of the correspondence.

2 – Do not use CAPITALS as it looks like you are SHOUTING.

3 – Do not write emails that are too long, as email predominantly is used for quick communication, especially in North America.

4 – Use the Subject line wisely, so people can understand exactly what the email is regarding. In sales (and spam mail), asking an intriguing question in the subject line is a common technique to get people’s attention.

5 – When finished, review your email and ask yourself if the tone of your email sounds personal or professional, and does this match your intention, and the intended recipients’ expectations?

How to Communicate Like a Good Manager

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Many people want to know how to be a good or a better manager, supervisor or team leader. This is hard to answer sometimes, as it may depend on culture, corporate culture, previous expectations and promises, and company as well as personal values.

The main point to remember is to show respect, calmness, and vision in all your communications. Bullies are not respected, even if they are feared. You must be firm but fair. At the same time ‘softies’ often are not listened to or given respect either. I recently had an email from an old Chinese friend (really nice sweet guy) who was asking for advice on how to manage foreign English teachers in China at his company. Apparently whenever they didn’t agree to some term of employment, they simply ‘played the foreigner card’ and claimed that they don’t have to do that because things are different in their own country. Smells like arrogance to me. The funny thing is, this nice guy who was asking me for help really wanted me to give him advice on understanding Westerner’s employment standards and practices.

That is a good thing to do, since he is managing them. However I reminded him that they are guests in China and are employees of his company, and that the main way to avoid some confusion is to have a clearly written ‘rules and conditions of employment’ contract which everyone must read and sign. That way both sides are clear on what is expected from the beginning. If the teachers find these rules too difficult then he should invite them to seek employment elsewhere! Of course rules can be bent and terms can be negotiated and re-written, but it cannot be done through bullying or ultimatum-giving, and that is what I wanted my friend to understand. He was being a push-over and they were taking advantage of his hospitality, as I understood. As a manager he needed to learn how to deal with facts (i.e. terms of employment as set out by the company) and be firm but fair in his dealings with his teachers.

Similar things happen all over the world. Here in multicultural Toronto, I come across stories all the time of people who are either being too strong or too shy. How many Russian immigrants have I told to “soften your language” and to “not be so direct”? Almost as many Chinese immigrants I have told to “be more confident in your speech” and to “not be so indirect”! Funny right? And that is just a small sample from my world of being a professional Communication Coach. Many more stories to tell…