Every Monday morning I get Kevin Hogan’s excellent free newsletter delivered in my inbox. This expert on persuasion, communication, body language, wealth etc. has many books, ebooks, Cds, DVDs etc. I have a few of his books/programs and I enjoy reading his articles. His homepage currently has a great article “Influence: Being Assertive without Being a Jerk”. Here is a sample:

Assertion simply means, “Hey honey, let’s go see your movie tonight and mine tomorrow night” or vice versa… and it really makes little difference who gets to go “first” because you aren’t four-year-olds….you are 40 and have gray hair…or you will soon.

Aggression is, “Dammit, you never do what I want to do and we are going to my movie tonight missey/mister or I’m outta here.” See, assertiveness training while well-intended can easily become… war college …where you learn to hurt people you love.

Ugh….

All assertion is, is stating what results you’d like to have and the help to get them, while you give help to others on the results they want.

AND

Assert: to state with assurance, confidence, or force; state strongly or positively; affirm. Insist on having one’s opinions and rights recognized.

Aggressive: ready to attack or oppose; quarrelsome. (and that’s just the first part…it gets uglier…like attacking…and so forth.)

As you can see, there is a canyon sized difference. They are on two different planes of behavior.

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