Communication Coach Blog
FYI here is the link to a 99-page ebook “People Management: How to get people to perform”
on sale now for only $11.00!
http://www.lulu.com/content/2165412
Follow the link to preview the book/purchase it.
Thank you.
How would your employees rate your people-management skills?
Here is an interesting find from a recent Hackett Group survey of 200 global organizations (source: HR Professional, Aug/Sept. 2008) when asked to discuss talent management practices:
More that 75% of participants rated people-management skills as very important.
I bet that you are not surprised. Me either. The fact is almost everyone, whether employee, employer, entrepreneur or customer can see the benefits of good people-management.
So here is the next part of the survey results:
Only 19% of senior managers, 10% of mid-level managers and 8% of supervisors were rated highly effective at managing people!
WOW.
Why is there such a discrepancy between what we know we want and the actual results of managers in the workplace? This leads to many questions that you can ask yourself when self-evaluating.
1 – Am I as a manager trained in people-management skills, or advanced communication skills? What is available to continuously improve?
2 – Do I have a way to find out what my employees really think of my management skills or the other manager’s skills? Can an anonymous survey be done?
3 – What do my employees really want? How do they define people-management?
4 – Do my employees feel comfortable coming to me to discuss their needs without feeling intimidated or out of line?
The topic of people-management deals with issues like communication, interpersonal skills, leadership, assertiveness, conflict and many others. If you know of a highly effective manager maybe you can find an opportunity to sit down and pick their brains on how they developed their style. Ask them what books or courses they would recommend, or to tell stories of managers that influenced them. No matter what position we are in at work, we are all in pursuit of excellent management skills.
If you are in the Toronto area, there is a communication workshop coming up soon that you may want to go to. BRASI is sponsoring a one-day workshop and I will be doing the training. For more information please follow this link to the BRASI website. IF interested, register through BRASI.
(Aftab Khan is the contact person there).
http://www.brasi.org/english.php
Thanks! I am on vacation for a week so am unable to respond to any questions until I get back on the 17th.
Recently a friend of mine told me this story. She came home from work and saw 2 young teenage girls chatting at the front of the building, one holding the building door open as she chatted. My friend simply walked through the open door and proceeded to the elevator. One of the ‘young ladies’ called her the dreaded ‘B’ word and even gave her the finger as the elevator doors closed, much to the surprise and confusion of my friend.
This stuff happens all the time. We could blame poor communication skills, poor upbringing of the young offender, mis-communication etc. The fact is we do not know why the girl said what she said and gestured rudely. For all we know in her head she was justified. Maybe she thought it was rude for someone to briskly walk through her conversation. Maybe there was an accidental touch of a bag or purse, unbeknownst to my friend. Or maybe she was just having a bad day and over-reacted. We may never know. So guess what I told my friend? LET IT GO.
Let it go. Be the adult. We cannot control other people’s actions, right? All we can do is control our own actions, and in this case, REACTIONS. Why would you let someone ruin your day?
We all would feel shocked and betrayed at that sudden flip-off, for sure. But what can we do now? Shall we confront the villain? Ok, get in an argument or fight. Who wins? No one wins a fight (unless it is a sport-fight). You exchange words, shouts, curses, even blows. What if there are injuries? A broken cell phone? A ripped favourite shirt? A cut that leaves a scar? Or worse! And what do you tell the police when they show up? That you were angry at someone’s word and gesture so you started a fight? Hmm….
I do believe in standing up for yourself and your loved ones. My message today is to simply choose your battles, and don’t waste your time on idiot behaviour – yours or theirs. Do not let someone else’s negativity ruin your day. Chin up, walk proud and LET IT GO. A confident person has no need to defend his/her ego over something like this.
Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a great summer and not working too hard.
Today I would like to remind you of something I am often repeating in training – assist your listener. Sometimes we can get caught up in our own speaking that we neglect the listener. We may be speaking too quickly, or too quietly, or without enthusiasm or proper stress, or we may be speaking over or under people’s intelligence levels.
Think in the past of someone who spoke to you that way. How did you feel? I hope and assume it was not done on purpose, but still, what is your typical reaction to someone who seems to be pontificating on and on, or otherwise seems to not need you in the conversation? Half of the time my reaction is to just stare with utter amazement! The other half of the time I actively re-balance the conversation with no egos bruised. Would you like to know how to do that? Great! Sign up for coaching! (ha ha).
Our public speaking performance improvement is great for our personal success, of course, but we cannot forget that if we lose our listener’s attention or respect, it is game over. No matter how eloquent of a speaker you may be or how fast you can speak, the important thing to remember is that communication is a dance. You need at least one other person working with you right?
So the next time you have lots to say, are excited, in a hurry, at work presenting ideas or whatever, remember to pause and mentally self-evaluate your delivery tools: volume, speed, rhythm, appropriate vocabulary etc. and ask yourself – can my partner/listener/audience/client/student etc. completely follow me? Do they have enough time to process the information being thrown at them? Are they engaged in this conversation or are they just passively waiting for their turn to speak? If so, what responsibility do you take in that situation? I hope from now on you take a lot of personal interest and responsibility in the ebb and flow of your conversations, and are careful to assist your listener at all times, especially when your listeners change frequently throughout the day, week, month, year and lifetime!
This is an idiom that at first, seems a bit strange, even to a native English speaker. Why Ps and Qs? What exactly does it mean?
Well, it means to “be careful” or “be respectful (i.e. to elders)” or simply it serves as a reminder to young ones to be polite and on their best behaviour in public.
Why Ps and Qs? It originally came from The English bartenders! “Mind your Ps and Qs” = mind (or tend to, watch out for) your Pints and Quarts…of alcohol! Don’t spill any!
Funny eh?
There you go. Another strange English idiom root uncovered.
I am enjoying my time in Japan. I have spent my time in Yokohama, Tokyo and Kyoto. Although I have been working with Japanese people in Toronto for 8 years this is actually my first visit here. There are many things I could write about, but today I will focus on the politeness that is mandatory here.
Some of you may consider yourselves very polite, and/or very courteous in your job. I myself used to work in customer service so I understand how to be polite, even when handling disputes.
What I would like to mention today is how mandatory politeness seems to be here. Even if I do not enter a shop, the clerks are still greeting the people walking by. If you do enter the shop or restaurant etc. then of course they will welcome you again. And usually it is not just one person but several. When you are paying for your food or product they are very polite in how they handle your money or credit card. Very respectful indeed and very gentle. It goes without saying that all of this is happening with a smile and with a soft tone of voice. Finally, when you leave they thank you for your business.
One of the strangest things I have seen here so far was when we went through a toll booth, and both the driver and worker exchanged ‘good mornings’ and ‘thank yous’, in addition to an electronic image of a worker bowing to the driver!
I cannot say for sure how much of this society’s politeness is forced, conditioned, or genuine, but it is definitely expected, and to not act politely is a terrible social offense here.
I really like the calmness of the people and the politeness of the service industry. It certainly is better than a lot of customer service in the world, and there are a few staff workers in the past that I have dealt with that could use this kind of training. The politeness is standard here too, so you can expect it and count on it. In other countries, we seem to be thrilled to get excellent customer service or to get a happy, efficient staff worker. Here, it happens 99% of the time.
The big question remaining is, I suppose, how do the Japanese feel about it, and how do they feel about the perceived lack of social and professional courtesy when they travel or emigrate? If you know a Japanese person in your circle, why don’t you ask them?
All the best from the land of the rising sun!
Do you know this shorthand? FYI?
It means “For Your Information.”
It’s a great way to save time and space in text mail and email.
We even can use it in actual speech!
E.g. “John, I’ll see you at 6pm for dinner, and FYI, it’s your turn to pick up the tab!” (Pay the bill).
I am currently in Japan right now, enjoying my time in Tokyo, Yokohama, and soon Shizuoka and Kyoto.
I’ll post again soon.
Thanks for reading!
Hello everyone,
I will be here in Japan until July 9th. Some work, some relaxation.
I am in Tokyo and Yokohama right now and soon I will visit Shizuoka and then Kyoto.
I will put together a post/newsletter soon about communication issues here in J-town.
For now, sorry that I have not posted for a while. Jet-lag is brutal.
ttys
Ric
They are twins. They are the flip side of a coin. As you build up your belief in yourself to do something you gain the nerve to do it. Once you do it or attempt to do it you start to notice what you are doing right, that it wasn’t as bad as you had imagined it, and that maybe next time will be even better.
As you feel more competent at the activity you start to believe more in your ability to improve and maybe even get good at it. This gives you more confidence, even if it is mostly visualization at the beginning. So I could go on with this email but I think you can see my point. The confidence leads to taking more chances and doing things better, so that increases competence, and the increased competence increases your confidence. It will radiate out of you.
Dale Carnegie said it best: Do the thing that you are afraid of. That is the one sure way of conquering your fear! (He was talking about public speaking, but it can be related to many things).
Until next time!