Successful Networking Top 10 Tips

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To be successful at networking first of all you cannot allow yourself to be a wallflower. Here are my personal tips for success at a networking function so that you can be prepared (which will help combat any anxiety you may have about going and meeting strangers) and come off looking and sounding smooth and successful.

1 – At home, write out a list of your strengths, attributes, special skills, etc. so that you know why someone should be interested in your services, your resume, etc. Now these strengths are in your head to boost your confidence and remind yourself of why people should talk to you or listen to you.

2 – Visualize the room; visualize smiling, shaking hands, talking to people, exchanging ideas, asking questions, exchanging cards, etc. Visualization works well, especially for shyer people, and many successful people in business, sports, entertainment etc. use visualization to get an image of a successful action before going out to the event.

3 – Show up with confident posture, a controlled walk, a smile and firm handshake, and lots of eye contact.

4 – Use the immediate environment to get the conversation started, like talking about the venue, the host, etc. and then find a common bond to keep it going. For example, talk about different networking functions you have attended, talk about any common interests regarding vacations, work, hobbies. Small talk first is normal, then get down to business.

5 – Now, have questions prepared to ask, to get people to talk about their needs, and then shape your conversation to reflect how you or your services could help in those areas. Don’t be pushy. Soft sell yourself. Build interest. For example instead of saying “I sell office insurance…do you need some?” you might instead say “Do you have your own office? What insurance rate are you paying, if I may ask? I am just wondering if you are getting the best value for your money. I am in the industry, so I am aware of the fair market value of the offices. What size of office do you have?” etc. Now they are more ready to be “helped” by you.

6 – Remember to repeat their name back to them, actively listen, and keep a mental database of some details of the person with whom you are speaking to.

7 – Always collect a business card if possible, and feel free to be the first one to ask for it. Ask with some enthusiasm and at the time when he or she has just talked about what they do or how they can help you. Smile and offer yours. Ideally, if you are talking about yourself correctly, people will ask you for your card. However, if they don’t, you may choose to offer.

8 – When you go home, write out information on the back of the card or on a sheet of paper, stapled to the card. These details help build and maintain rapport for the next and subsequent meetings, emails, and phone calls. Everyone appreciates being remembered!

9 – Email them within 24 hours to say that it was nice to meet them, and perhaps mention a detail you remember, and the suggestion to ‘keep in touch’.

10 – Unless you had already planned a meeting previously, follow up a week later and see if you can arrange a drop-by visit or a coffee, if you think this relationship has potential. It is okay to initiate contact. Be a leader!

VIA Rail Employee Made My Mother Smile

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Hello fellow customer service advocates of Toronto!
Today’s post is a little late, but as the saying goes, it’s better late than never!  (By the way, isn’t it sad how people often don’t post about good service, but quickly will post about bad service?  Why can’t we be balanced in our online reviews?  LOL)

My mother visited us Torontonians on the weekend after the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, as she couldn’t come to Toronto on the actual holiday.  No matter, her family here in T-Dot including myself made sure she had a good time, as always, and took her to the new Ripley’s Aquarium.  It was very cool, but that’s another post.  Anyway the family members up here had Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday and on Sunday my mom was booked to leave on a later VIA train.  This would be Sunday October 19th that I am referring to, around 6 pm.

When we arrived at Union station, even though we were early, there was already a long line-up for her train.  The electronic departure sign indicated that the train was already boarding, but our line was not moving.  I told my mom to stand put and I went to inquire because, well, ya never know right?  🙂
So I spoke with a friendly VIA RAIL gentleman at the front of the line, where the business lounge is, and I asked about the train departure time.  He asked to see my ticket and I then told him I was inquiring on behalf on my mom.  He then asked “Oh, how old is your mom…like over 60?”  I said “Yes, she is” and he said “Bring her here.”  I noticed some elderly folks and a pregnant woman sitting in the lounge, and then felt a bit guilty and stated “but my mom’s very healthy!” and he said “it’s okay.”  So I retrieved my mom, and told her not to walk ‘too fast’ and to follow me.  When we arrived the VIA gentleman expressed his surprise at my mother’s youthful looks (always a great thing to say to a lady!)  and she smiled and said she would be turning 63 soon!  He invited her to sit down and we all chatted about the little things in life while we waited for the official boarding, which was a little behind.  I was so happy she didn’t have to stand in the very long line-up, and I was not aware of the “over 60 lounge” policy.  I didn’t catch the name of the VIA gentleman, although I did scan for a name tag, but he was a healthy-looking 57 year old French-Canadian with a warm smile and hearty laugh, who was able to reduce stress and discomfort for those around him.

When boarding was finally announced, the VIA gentleman turned to my mother, the pregnant lady and those others in the lounge and waved them forward.  My mother, always the polite one, wasn’t sure if she deserved this special first-class treatment.  But he urged her on and I could tell from the look in his eye that there was a brief window of time he was trying to get her through, before the line started moving.  I ushered her on, and she said thank you and good bye to the gentleman.  She gave me a quick kiss and hug and I pushed her on.  She was one of the first to board.  As she went up the escalator out of sight, I turned to leave, but wanted to thank the kind gentleman first.  I could see now he was quickly in the midst of a sea of travellers, checking tickets and answering questions.  A handshake was impossible, but I did catch eyes and bow my head to him, and smile.  He bowed and smiled back.

I then left, and as I did, went past an incredibly long line-up.  I was so thankful my mom, though healthy, didn’t have to stand in it.  After all, she may look 50, but she is almost 63!  🙂

I truly appreciate what this VIA RAIL employee did for us, and others in need.  Thank you!

Body Language Tips for the Boardroom

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Is it a good thing to centre your hands while speaking?

Hello fellow communicators!

Do you often wonder how you could improve the results of your meetings and presentations in the boardroom?  Do you wish you could read the body language and non-verbal communications of business people across the table from you during negotiations?  Well a global company called FIRMEX believes these are valuable skills to learn and partnered up with “yours truly” to create a couple of no-cost body language videos.  Please watch and enjoy these vital and easy-to-apply tips to modify your non-verbal communication and gestures, as well as become more attuned to others in business.  Body language isn’t everything, but it’s a very large part of effective business communication!  Click the link below to see the video on Firmex’s blog:

http://www.firmex.com/thedealroom/body-language-in-the-boardroom/

I hope you enjoy the tips and more importantly put them to good use immediately!

Learning to Fight so You Don’t Have to Fight

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As a lifelong martial artist, and current BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) roller, I can relate to this meme.  Many people will agree that martial arts training, regardless of the art, will increase one’s confidence.  Having said that – please be aware that it is very possible to be fed incorrect information and be trained in fighting theory and technique that actually does not work, which is very bad if something serious should ever happen.  However the individual still gains confidence from the training.  It is confidence built with a house of cards, but to the individual, from their perspective (before the illusion is shattered) they feel secure and confident.  My quick advice is if you are interested in training in a martial art, or enrolling a child in some classes, do plenty of research on the art, the school, the teacher, etc. to make sure your personal goals are aligned.  Now go train!  🙂

Are You Coming or Going? (Exploring Related Phrasal Verbs)

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COMING OR GOING?
1. a)  to come across = to find by chance                                   
I came across a beautiful antique vase in a 2nd hand shop in Kensington Market.
1. b)  to come across = to appear
He comes across as reserved, but actually he’s very outgoing once you get to know him.
2. to come between = to be a barrier, to separate
Language or religion can come between lovers.
3. a) to come out = to be published/released
The final Hunger Games movie came out a few months ago.
3. b) to come out = to remove
The red wine stain finally came out of the carpet, after a lot of cleaning.
3. c) to come out = to announce to family, friends or the world that you are gay/homosexual.
My friend didn’t come out of the closet until he was 35.  Then he felt a great sense of relief.
4. to be going on = s/t is happening
What’s going on with them?
5. a) to go on = to go ahead of someone
You go on in the restaurant. I’ll be right behind you. I want to finish smoking.
5. b) to go on (and on) = to continue talking without a break and often repeating yourself.
I know Jack had a great time in Paris, because he will go on and on with stories to anyone!
6. to be on the go = to be very busy
Hey! You need to chill! You’re always on the go! You’re gonna burn yourself out!
7. “It goes without saying.” = it’s clear without being said
It goes without saying that I’ll help you move houses!
8. to go far = be very successful
Having studied at Harvard, I’m sure he’ll go far in life.
9. To go to great lengths = to take a lot of trouble to do something
After Tony won the lottery, he went to great lengths to keep it a secret.

Seth Godin: Confidence is a Choice, not a Symptom

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“The batter has already hit two home runs. When he gets up to bat for the third time, his confidence is running high…

It’s easy to feel confident when we’re on a roll, when the cards are going our way, or we’re closing sales right and left. This symptomatic confidence, one built on a recent series of successes, isn’t particularly difficult to accomplish or useful.

Effective confidence comes from within, it’s not the result of external events. The confident salesperson is likely to close more sales. The confident violinist expresses more of the music. The confident leader points us to the places we want (and need) to go.

You succeed because you’ve chosen to be confident. It’s not really useful to require yourself to be successful before you’re able to become confident.”

Posted by Seth Godin on March 16, 2014

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Why I Don’t Make New Year Resolutions (and Why You Shouldn’t Either)

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As the New Year approaches it is quite normal for us all to think introspectively and then talk about what our exciting resolutions will be, to ensure we start this year off on the right foot (not like last year). We hear the reporters interviewing folks on the street, and we read the bloggers giving their best tips to set and achieve new goals.  We read motivating books and then make pacts with friends and family members to enlist their help in keeping us on the winning path to 2014 success.  Sounds like a good thing.
We are often nervous about it all, thinking of the work that needs to be done or the hard sacrifices that need to be made, yet at the same time we are excited at the rosy vision of a new person – the person you really want to be.  We imagine how this year will be so different from, well, yesterday.  We create a psychological distance with our brain to think that the two years, the ‘old’ one and the ‘new’ one, are going to be completely different.  Wow – what an idyllic scene.
Back in 2008 I wrote a blog about why 90% of New Years resolutions fail.  That blog got the attention of an intern at CBC News and I was called in to discuss on New Years morning, hangover and all, my thoughts on how to really set goals and achieve newness.  As an upstart entrepreneur eagerly attempting to get my name out there as The Communication Coach in Toronto I accepted the live interview request, and all in all it went smoothly.  I gave a no frills formula on B.E.S.T. goals, with the advice to make your goals Believable, Enthusiastic, Specific and Time-based.  What I remember most about that interview was the last question the reporter asked me.  Because it was live and unscripted I had no idea she was going to end our interview with “Do you have a resolution?”   Before I could even think of anything to say I blurted out the truth.  The truth of how I really felt about all this goal setting and last minute resolution stuff.  I answered that I don’t make resolutions!  WOW – the coach brought on TV to talk about how to set and keep resolutions admits he doesn’t even believe in them!  That’s right.  The reporter laughed at my candidness, and I think she was relieved in a way too, probably because she shared my views.  I continued to say that it’s about planning all year round, small goals to achieve bigger goals, and then went for the throat on the whole interview by confidently stating that we should not even be using the term ‘New Year Resolutions’ because one can simply predict based on current lifestyle and habits what is going to happen in the new year.  We should all talk about New Years Expectations! 
So there you have it folks.  Instead of talking about our fantasy life that is instantly going to happen at the stroke of midnight December 31stas we focus our energy on a handful of life-altering decisions, why don’t we instead take stock of our current reality?  Start with the idea that if you didn’t make any changes – what would happen, or not happen, or change, or not change, in 2014?  And are you okay with that?  Maybe you are already on the path to success.  Maybe you have already started making decisions in your head that are firm.  Maybe you are sick and tired of something, or of not having something, and are well on your way to making changes with a determined mind.  You may not need a special day to find resolve.  You are doing it.  Maybe the first habit we should break is the habit of making New Year resolutions! 
Finally, as I wrap up this admission of why I don’t make January first resolutions, I leave you with this.  Today when my wife told me all the things she is going to try to change, a quiver of emotional pain in her voice at the thought of forcing herself to do things that are ‘good for her’ to do, I wondered if she realized how great she already is, and how much she has ‘improved’ since we first met.  I then reflected on my current lifestyle, including the work I am doing with 3V and with YEDI, what I eat for food, how I treat my family and friends, and how often I go to do BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), and I honestly thought that I’m doing pretty good too.  I do not feel guilty about having a holiday break to relax, and I am energized to get back to it all, and to hit the ground running.  I am not making major changes tomorrow.  I am already in the process. 🙂
Best of luck to you and yours in 2014!
P.S.
If you are curious to see a flash from my past, you can view that 2008 New Years interview on CBC and even the year after when I was invited back on my YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/CommCoach73/videos
Happy New Year!!!

Can Effective Communication Skills Get More Out of Our Managers?

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This fresh advertisement is suggesting so.  But why is that?
It’s because managers are the ‘hub’ of an office or other organization.  They translate what the top level or C-suite folks who develop or interpret the vision really want (as far as action goes), and then carry out the communications and processes involved in getting the message to the remaining staff.  The manager, including the Human Resources (HR) personnel, supervisors, and often consultants and high level contractors have to truly understand what the higher ups want, and that takes empathy, active listening skills, often the ability to read non-verbal communication (like body language) correctly, and patience.  These are all great communication skills.  Then they must deliver this information to other managers, front-line staff, contractors and other co-workers of some type.  This takes interpersonal skills, conflict management skills, the skill of delegation, giving direction and feedback effectively without offending others, etc.  These are all excellent communication qualities to have.  So – if you think about it – a manager is quite busy talking to many different people all day above, beside and below them, and we didn’t even discuss conversations with suppliers, vendors, clients and whoever else might cross their path!

We all should be glad if we have (or had) a manager who displayed excellent communication skills.  Because as we see here, it’s very complicated, and unfortunately it’s not very common to find a great manager.  If you have one – tell them tomorrow!
If you ARE a manager, what can you do to evaluate your current communication skills and then make them better if needed?  It starts with a good self-assessment, and maybe deep consideration of any recent feedback.

Here is a great article on the importance of communication skills, and you can use this article as a top 10 checklist to help evaluate your current strengths and weaknesses.

https://inlpcenter.org/importance-of-communication-skills/

Best of luck!