Tag Archives: body confidence

Body Confidence: How to Like What You See in the Mirror

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From childhood we are sold on an ideal image of beauty, one few of us ever see reflected when we look in the mirror. This article will show you how you can look in the mirror and despite the ideal, see only a beautiful you.

When you look in the mirror, what’s the first thing you notice, and how does it make you feel?

If you’re like most people, the first thing that catches your eye is probably your least favorite asset. If so, don’t worry you’re not alone. Here’s why.

Can you guess how much money is spent in just one year by advertisers to sell us on the concept of the “ideal” image of beauty? Well, I can’t either but I do know this—it’s a lot of money, certainly somewhere in the billions of dollars! So, technically, you can consider yourself brainwashed.

From your earliest childhood days—whether you played with He-Man or Barbie—you’ve been receiving constant, consistent images telling you what beauty is supposed to look like. Never mind that these images are for the most part, anatomically impossible! And, would you really want to look like them anyway? Honestly? I’m guessing probably not.

So, here’s how you can build your confidence with the body given to you:

  1. Look in the mirror
  1. This time, really look at yourself. Reflect on the compliments you have received.

Do people tell you how great your hair is?

How beautiful your eyes are?

That you have a really nice smile?

Try to see what they see – take them at their word.

  1. Stand far enough away from the mirror so that you can take it all in. What do you see? Find at least three positive things.
  1. Now, get up close. Really close. Look at your eyes—the irises. What colour are they? Are they all one colour or are there flecks of various colours? How would you describe them using positive analogies or adjectives?
  1. Now, smile. What does your smile convey? Warmth? Happiness?
  1. Find at least three characteristics you like best about yourself, and then accentuate them as you dress to go out. For example, if you love your eyes, make sure your hair doesn’t cover them up. Love your lips? Make sure to keep them soft and moisturized. Your hair? Get a flattering cut and condition it regularly to keep it shiny and healthy. In short, amplify what you like, and don’t worry about the parts that you don’t.

Here are some ways to do just that:

1 – Go shopping and bring a good friend. Ask them to help you pick out colours and clothes they think flatter you. Don’t worry if your first reaction is “that’s not me!” Experiment!

2 – Feel better about whatever it is you don’t like about yourself by picturing the absolute worst-case scenario. Exaggerate whatever it is you’re hung up on and blow it up in you mind until it’s comical. Then look in the mirror—not so bad anymore is it? Accept yourself for who you are, how you look, and focus on what really matters—the things about you that can’t be seen—your heart, mind and soul!

3 – What do you want people to praise you for? Is it really how you look? Probably not. You probably want people to think you’re funny, smart, nice, or generous—something along those lines right?

4 – Make a list of your positive personal qualities and characteristics. Then ask yourself, what’s more important? Get involved in activities that build on your personal characteristics—volunteer, join a club, take a class to sharpen a talent. These will help you emphasize and focus on the more important qualities that get you through life successfully, and with more fun.

Live life, love fully and laugh often!

Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

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Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

The way that you move your body and walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and your confidence levels.

Let’s start with an exercise.
Imagine there are two people standing in front of you – one with “negative body language” and one with “positive body language”.

I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of these people.

 

Positive Body Lang.

Negative Body Lang.
How are they standing?

 
Where are their eyes looking?

 
Where have they got their head?

 
How are they talking?

 

 
How are they moving?

 

  

 

You know, how you feel at any moment in time is linked to what is going on in your head and how you are moving your body. The way that you move sends subconscious messages to your mind and this either helps or hinders the way that you feel.

Emotion is created by motion. If you sit still for a long period of time your natural energy levels automatically lower. And what happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat? Yes, you have more energy and you’re given a boost. I can’t stress how important it is to move and act confidently and positively.

You will give off all the right vibes to everyone around you and it will make them think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside.

Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as though you are.

So, how do you do this?

Well, controlled and with a purpose. Don’t saunter along aimlessly. Walk like you know exactly where you’re going and keep your head up, chin level. Gesture with your hands as you talk, it will create motion and you know what that leads to – EMOTION!

The right gestures also have a major impact on building rapport.  Smooth, engaging gestures work best, especially those that match and complement your words and speech patterns. And don’t forget to smile!

Think for a moment about your confidence role model.

One thing that he/she and confident people in general have in common is that they all probably smile a lot and are happier than their negative counterparts. It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile. So what I would like you to do is to start smiling more often.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face all of the time.

But smile as you walk down the street, when you talk to someone, even when you look in the mirror at yourself. You will be surprised at how better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

Remember that confident people are happy people and negative people are not.
Happy people are also seen as more attractive than unhappy and sad people so that is an added bonus!

So in closing, be aware that your body movements can and will affect how you feel and how others perceive you, and also remember that you can proactively help to project a confident image with some simple, minor adjustments any time of the day.

Body Language Quick Hints

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The way that we communicate non-verbally with our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others.

The manner in which you communicate your interpersonal skills are very important.  Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing.

The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into components, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions.  The 7-38-55 ‘rule’ is popular in lore, but it’s based on a small and limited experiments done in the 1960s by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, and is not meant to cover all scenarios of communication.  The studies he did concluded that 7% of communication (intended attitude and feelings mostly) comes through words, 38% through voice, and 55% through facial expressions.  However, even if the numbers are not exact in most scenarios, think of my “3 Vs” as a general principle:

VERBAL

% of our message is interpreted from the words we use, including grammar.

VOCAL

% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone, pitch, rhythm etc.

VISUAL

% is what the other person sees – our body language, gestures, environment etc.

The “3 Vs” would then make up a fourth – VIBE – the overall feeling we send and receive.

Whole books are written on body language, but here are some quick fixes and recommendations that you should start to put into practice:

· Dress to win – Look at your appearance and ask yourself:

· Do I feel confident?

· Do I look confident?

· What could I do with my appearance to give me the edge?

· Handshakes – Never give a limp wrist handshake, make sure it is firm but not too hard

· Smile a lot more than you have been doing – even if you are a comedian! Smiles generate trust, openness and more smiles!

· Walk tall with your head and shoulders back. Walk at a quick, controlled pace breathing calmly.

· When you talk to people look them straight in the eye.

· Keep on moving – Motion creates positive emotion!

· If you are ever feeling down, just have a look at your body language and change it immediately. You WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately. Take a brisk walk if need be.

· First impressions count – so when you are going to meet people for the first time, think of what first impression you want to give them. A smiling face? A good remark? Firm handshake? Etc. Life is filled with first impressions…over and over and over again!

· Take more notice of other peoples’ body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it. This is useful in meetings, negotiations, presentations, sales pitches, and yes, even on dates!

Good luck!