Tag Archives: coaching & training

Recovering from a Bad First Impression

Have you ever met someone new at a dinner party, networking function, or a dating event, and they rubbed you the wrong way immediately? Something they said or did, or they way they spoke or acted, just really turned you off? Sure, we all have had that experience.

Now let me ask you, do you think the person was aware of their negative vibe at the time? Probably not right? They probably did not try to upset you on purpose. So if you didn’t tell them afterwards of their bad first impression, then they may never know how they came off, and may even think they made a good impression with you! They may be a bit confused the next time they see you as to why you are running in the opposite direction!

My next question is – could this be you? Is it possible that you accidentally gave an unintended negative vibe on a first impression with a new co-worker, friend of a friend, or even a date? Sure it is. Now what can be done?

Here are some quick steps to take to recover from a bad first impression, assuming you were made aware of it afterwards.

1 – Evaluate feedback rationally. Who told you that your first impression was negative? Was it the principle person, friend or observer? Consider the source, before you condemn yourself. However if you trust the source, or it comes from the principles’ own mouth, then it is time to move to step two.

2 – Self-evaluate. Ask yourself what impression were you trying to make, and what went wrong? Was this a misunderstanding? Do you do this same thing with other people as well? Is it time you stopped making excuses for this annoying behaviour and accepted that it needs to be changed? Write things down to be clear and focused.

3 – Contact. Send an email, voicemail or if you are brave enough, a call or face-to-face meeting with your accidental victim. Acknowledge your specific flaw or quirk and explain that that is not normally how you act, or at least explain that there is more to you than just what they saw that evening, and you would like a second chance to show them the real you. You are not apologizing for your personality, but you can let someone know that you are aware of your first impression, and want to show a more rounded personality instead of just what was revealed during the first meeting.

4 – Modify. Did you dominate the conversation last time? Well, it is now time to ask lots of questions and listen. Were you so shy and quiet last time that the person thought you were bored or uninterested? Then next time you need to be engaged, make lots of eye contact, use active listening skills, and show enthusiasm. Did last meeting sound like an interview to the person? Okay, time to lighten up, stick to general topics for now, and give the person time to open up.

5 – Try your best. Continue to try to be aware of you own first impressions, and modify when appropriate. But also accept the fact that not everyone will like you or get along with you, as there are different personalities out there. The point is that people do not have to love you, but they should at least feel comfortable with you on a first meeting.

For anyone experiencing this challenge, I invite you to consider communication coaching. There are things that can be learned to make sure you make a great first impression every time, with anyone. Feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.

Giving Confident Presentations

You can deliver confident and powerful presentations!

All it takes is a little preparation, some practice, and a winning mindset.

You’ve been asked to give a presentation. Congratulations! This is your chance to shine. If you’re like most people, you probably don’t like presenting very much.

So, read on for some simple tips you can use to conquer your worries. With these simple tips, you’ll be ready to go in no time, feeling confident, and fully prepared.

First, there are a few things I want to point out:

  1. Know that you were asked to present, because you can do it—you wouldn’t have been asked otherwise.
  2. No one really likes presenting. Some of the best, most well known speakers and actors have confessed to this. So, when you look out at your audience, know that you’re always in good company.
  3. What actually comes out of your mouth is only about 7% of what gets communicated. That leaves 93% to non-verbal communication. That means if your body language, tone, expression and gestures communicate confidence, you will come across as confident.

But just how do you create this confidence?

Here’s the secret: being prepared; practicing; and having identified beforehand, instant solutions for de-stressing.

Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right!”

So here is how you’re going to get prepared, confidently go in there, and knock their socks off!

Confidence builder #1: Know your content

  • Identify your key messages—bullet them in order so they tell a clear story.
  • Jot down cues for your key messages (e.g. on flashcards, paper, etc.).
  • Have them ready as back up (but remember to refrain from reading them word-for-word while presenting).
  • Enhance your messages with supporting tools and interesting visuals—it will be a perk for your audience, and it takes the spotlight off of you.
  • Be sure to tap into your resources—know a graphic design expert? A presenter? A communication coach? (he he!) Ask for their advice.

Confidence builder #2: Practice makes it a “piece of cake”

  • Practice delivery of your lines. Do this in the mirror.
  • You might feel funny talking to yourself, but it works.
  • Watch your body language.
  • Find your “confident look.”
  • Stand straight and be sure to use smooth hand gestures, and limit unnecessary movement (e.g. rocking back and forth from one foot to the other).
  • Practice until the words flow like water.
  • When you are ready, practice in front of a friend or two.
  • Ask them each for 3 things you did well and 1 thing you could improve.

Confidence builder #3: Create your “winning scene”

  • Visualize yourself delivering your presentation.
  • Then see your audience’s positive reaction.
  • What does that “winning scene” look like for you?
  • Visualize it over and over until you can see it so clearly, you know what colour of socks your boss is wearing!

Confidence builder #4: Go for it!

  • Identify ways to calm your nerves before you even begin: take deep breaths, or find whatever works for you.
  • Squelch any negative thoughts or concerns by envisioning your “winning scene.”
  • Think positive. Remember: “If you think you can, you can.”
  • As you present, keep eye contact with as many people as you can—this also conveys confidence.
  • If it helps, determine a shape in your mind and make eye contact around the room as though you were creating that shape with your line of vision.
  • Be sure to keep your pace s…l…o…w. Many of us tend to speed talk when presenting, and so, often what might sound slow to us sounds just right to the listener.

I hope this advice helps you with your next presentation. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I would love to hear from you – and offer free consultations.  🙂

Toronto Communication Workshop – This Sat. Feb. 24th!

brasiMPACT: Communication Skills Refinement; Impact and Influence

An intensive, hands-on communications training workshop designed to help individuals maximize their potential for team work and leadership. Training includes practical work in the classroom on accent improvement, presentation & public speaking skills, understanding body language, and other applied communication skills.

This is ideal for immigrants working or wanting to work in a professional environment.

BRASI (Business Research And Service Institute) has been running training courses for higher productivity since 1981. You need not be affiliated with BRASI to join this workshop.
Ric Phillips, Communication Coach, will be teaching and running the workshop.

This workshop will be held at the York University Executive Learning Centre (Schulich) from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM
Lunch will be provided. Free parking as well!

Cost is $185.00.

If interested please visit this link to register:

http://www.brasi.org/english.php

You can contact Aftab Khan directly at 416-388-8556 or Ric Phillips at 416-429-7935.

We hope to hear from you soon!

Thank you.

Upcoming Communication Workshops

Hello everyone,

Recently I have been getting a lot of calls and emails regarding effective communications training from individuals, companies, the government, and NPOs. It seems to me that the demand for soft skills is greater now than it ever was. Coinciding with this is the boom of semi or highly-skilled immigrants coming into Canada.

Let me just remind everyone that these days in business it is not enough to just have hard skills. We must be able to communicate effectively with others in and outside our workplace, to build rapport easily, to understand what body language says, to choose our words carefully, to deliver the correct message, and most importantly, to listen carefully and correctly interpret others’ meaning behind their words.

On that note, I’d like to broadcast an upcoming joint-venture workshop. If interested please follow the link or cut and paste it into your browser, or contact me directly.

Communication Skills Refinement; Impact & Influence
York University Learning Centre – Sat. Feb. 24th 2007, 9am-3pm

http://www.brasi.org/english.php

I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome and thank BRASI (Business Research And Service Institute) for organizing this and future workshops for newcomers to Canada and the Supply Chain Professionals.

Finally I’d like to include the new link to my interview article that ran in the Toronto Sun/Jobboom.com January 10th 2007, as the original link from that day has expired, and has been replaced with this permanent one.

http://jobboomcc.canoe.ca/News/2007/01/10/3279736.html

Thank you all, and remember that if you have any comments, requests for topics or any questions about the communication coaching process, please do not hesitate to ask.