Hello my friends,

I am happy to introduce to you Larina Case. Last year I bought her book “The Confident Speaker” and use it’s advice to help my clients improve public speaking and presentations. Today I am participating in a ‘blog tour’ to help spread the word about Larina’s newest book, The Confident Leader. Here is an interview by Larina, which I think you will enjoy and find very relevant to our cause:

1. What if we come across as too confident?

Many people worry about appearing arrogant and would rather appear less confident than over-confident. In reality, it is often a lack of confidence that makes people come across as over-confident.

When we lack confidence, we tend to overcompensate. And it is the overcompensation that makes people look over-confident (or look like they’re trying too hard) and puts others off.

If someone is worried that he will come across as unintelligent, he’ll try to use fancy language, and will look like he thinks he’s so smart. If someone worries that she will come across as boring, she will try to be interesting, and will look like she loves to talk about herself.

There are exceptions. Sometimes people actually are arrogant and have an inflated image of themselves. You would know if this were you because you’d think that you can do no wrong, your opinion of yourself would be higher than others (you’d be shocked by Bs on papers or performance reviews that were not 100% glowing). You’d dominate conversations and not be interested in others’ viewpoints. If this is you, then these things need to change. If this is not you, then you really don’t need to worry.

2. What are 3 simple things we can do to build our confidence?

1. Develop your growth mindset. This is your ability to ask yourself questions like, “What can I learn” from situations regardless of their outcome and NOT to judge yourself from the outcome.
2. Take on strategic challenges. Push yourself about 20% past your comfort zone by seeking out and taking on challenges (not just dealing with them as they arise).
3. Give yourself credit. Reward your efforts (not your results) when you have done something difficult.

3. Can we build confidence from career achievement?

We know from recent research that self-esteem and confidence are some of the most important predictors of career success and income, and that it doesn’t go the other way around—we can’t wait until we have a thriving career and hope that it increases our confidence. Instead, if we develop confidence, we’re more likely to have a thriving career.

Confidence does NOT necessarily come from achievement. It comes from how you interpret your actions. Two people can achieve the same level, and one feels great and proud of her process of getting there, and the other feels that they could have done better or worries if they’ll do as well the next time. (Guess who’s more confident?)

4. How come being effective doesn’t cut it in today’s economy?

As you know, the current economy is a challenging one and it will separate the true leaders from the simply effective people. The cream will rise to the top and they will be the ones who will be most competitive for the best jobs, clients, and other opportunities.

Ironically, in tough times, most people become LESS exceptional. They get scared. They retreat into their comfort zones. They seek security and play it safe. They want to blend in and fly under the radar. They are afraid to accept responsibility for things that don’t go well. They do not step up as leaders.

You must avoid this temptation! These things will keep you in the average zone (or worse) and keep you from being exceptional and presenting your best.

How can we find out more about becoming confident leaders?

My new book The Confident Leader: How the Most Successful People Go from Effective to Exceptional provides a 6-step formula for taking on key challenges, making difficult decisions, and navigating outside your comfort zone. The second half applies the formula to key business areas such as staying focused and motivated, marketing yourself, standing out, and dealing with difficult people. It includes interviews with business leaders such as Seth Godin, Tim Sanders and Joe Vitale. Learn more by checking out her book and it’s reviews.

Thank you!