The way that we communicate non-verbally with our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others.

The manner in which you communicate your interpersonal skills are very important.  Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing.

The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into components, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions.  The 7-38-55 ‘rule’ is popular in lore, but it’s based on a small and limited experiments done in the 1960s by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, and is not meant to cover all scenarios of communication.  The studies he did concluded that 7% of communication (intended attitude and feelings mostly) comes through words, 38% through voice, and 55% through facial expressions.  However, even if the numbers are not exact in most scenarios, think of my “3 Vs” as a general principle:

VERBAL

% of our message is interpreted from the words we use, including grammar.

VOCAL

% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone, pitch, rhythm etc.

VISUAL

% is what the other person sees – our body language, gestures, environment etc.

The “3 Vs” would then make up a fourth – VIBE – the overall feeling we send and receive.

Whole books are written on body language, but here are some quick fixes and recommendations that you should start to put into practice:

· Dress to win – Look at your appearance and ask yourself:

· Do I feel confident?

· Do I look confident?

· What could I do with my appearance to give me the edge?

· Handshakes – Never give a limp wrist handshake, make sure it is firm but not too hard

· Smile a lot more than you have been doing – even if you are a comedian! Smiles generate trust, openness and more smiles!

· Walk tall with your head and shoulders back. Walk at a quick, controlled pace breathing calmly.

· When you talk to people look them straight in the eye.

· Keep on moving – Motion creates positive emotion!

· If you are ever feeling down, just have a look at your body language and change it immediately. You WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately. Take a brisk walk if need be.

· First impressions count – so when you are going to meet people for the first time, think of what first impression you want to give them. A smiling face? A good remark? Firm handshake? Etc. Life is filled with first impressions…over and over and over again!

· Take more notice of other peoples’ body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it. This is useful in meetings, negotiations, presentations, sales pitches, and yes, even on dates!

Good luck!