Tag Archives: speaking strategies

Accent Reduction – Top 10 Tips Cont’d

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6 – Control your volume, and stress key content words to keep listeners focused. Content words are nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, numbers, and other descriptor words.

7 – Control your rhythm and pace. It is not a race! Use medium speed, and medium volume.

8 – Practice with tongue-twisters, alliteration and poetry. Get control of your speech!

9 – Keep a list of trouble spots (i.e. words, sounds) to practice morning and night in a logbook or diary. Build your own personalized textbook to practice every day.

10 – When in doubt of the correct pronunciation, use a good North American dictionary or British English dictionary, depending on where you are living or studying, to check the phonetic instructions of sounds and syllable stress.

Enjoy learning English, enjoy your new surroundings, and by all means practice accent reduction tips every day until your confidence in communication improves. Then, you will be able to speak with clarity and will find that your accent is no longer holding you back from achieving your goals. Learn to improve your accent, and then learn to speak through your accent!

Accent Reduction – Top 10 Tips

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It can be very exciting studying for a year or two in a foreign country, and every year thousands of ESL students travel to English-speaking countries to have an adventure, take a break from rigorous (i.e. difficult) studying at home, and learn some English.

At the same time, immigration is up in some countries, especially Canada, where the government has now incorporated more support, more programs and more funding to ensure that immigrants who arrive here can get employed a lot faster than what is currently the case. However, most students and immigrants will tell you that their perceived lack of English capability and their self-imposed shyness with using it can create a real barrier to not only employment, but all around enjoyment of their new or host country.

I have had the pleasure of teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) students and immigrants accent reduction since 1998, and have come to rely on a few tips to help the learner reduce their accent quickly.  Without further ado (i.e. delay), I give you my top 10 tips for accent reduction. Today will only be #1 and 2. Check my blog tomorrow for the next 2 tips, and so on.

1 – Imitate the desired accent and expressions of the people around you e.g. co-workers, T.V. and film characters, teachers, etc. This is not silly, it is vital (i.e. very important!)

2 – Record yourself and check your progress continuously. This way you can actually see/hear your progress, because it is easy to think that you are not making progress over time.

More to come tomorrow!

How to Communicate with Confidence – Tip

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Medium is the rule.

Walk at a medium pace. Walking too fast gives the impression that you are hurried, unorganized, late, not paying attention and not available to speak to people. Walking too slow looks like you are tired, lack energy, unsure of where you are going, and again not paying attention.

Talk at a medium speed. Speaking fast comes off as if you may be trying to trick people (i.e. a fast-talking salesperson) or trying to pull the wool over someone’s eyes. Speaking slowly sounds like you are unsure of what you are talking about, hesitant, and also gives way too much opportunity for someone to interrupt you or cut you off before your thought is complete. It may also sound unintelligent.

Finally, use medium volume for the current environment, which is to say don’t be the softest speaker in the group which looks weak and unsure, and don’t be the loudest which comes off as attention-seeking behaviour and may look like you are arrogant and over-confident. Medium is the key, with a nice rhythm of pauses and stressed key words.

Incorporate this simple but powerful tool today!

Do You Speak the Same Way to a Taxi Driver and a CEO?

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Greetings everyone!

Sorry it has been a while – Moscow has been keeping me busy (but for only one more week now). I thought you might like to consider the question in the title – from a communications perspective, anyway.

Rebecca MacDonald, Canadian entrepreneur and co-founder of Energy Savings Income Fund, was recently asked a simple question in a business magazine interview: how do you stay nice, warm and down-to-earth in a (sometimes) cutthroat world?

Here is an excerpt of how she replied:

“I’m very comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am. I love people, and I have a great deal of respect for every individual. If I’m talking to a taxi driver, I will enjoy the conversation the same way I’d enjoy a conversation with the CEO of the bank.”

What do you think of her response? How many of you can say the same? (I hope many!)

The truth is that sometimes we choose to ignore people in the service industry, or only listen half heartedly. And then when we meet a ‘big boss’ or have an important interview, or date for that matter (same format sometimes, right?), we get nervous and uptight and ask our friends “what should I say? What can we talk about?” etc.

Why do we feel so different? A person is a person, right?

I aim to feel no different talking to a CEO, a taxi driver, a lawyer, a religious person, a homeless person, a hot woman, or a millionaire. I talk to these people on a regular basis. I care about who they are, their life experiences and I am interested to learn something new in my life.

I also want to make them feel good, or at the very least comfortable talking to me. I take on that responsibility every day to go forth and build relationships. I honestly enjoy talking to people, and it comes from sincerity and empathy. I do not force myself – I want to.

I think we can all learn something from Rebecca MacDonald’s response. Even when you become rich and successful, do not change who you are inside. Do not lose touch with certain members of society. And do not stop enjoying conversations with various people in various circumstances. Simple pleasures are the best!

All the best to you and your next conversation.

Communication – Not English

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Recently I was talking to a new immigrant to Toronto who admitted that she usually does not speak to people that are in the service industry, during day to day transactions. I was surprised by this admission and of course wanted details, because, although English is her second language, she and I spoke easily together. She is not a beginner by far, and has already studied and worked in Toronto where English is the common tongue. She said and I quote “That’s what I love about (multicultural) Toronto – no one has to talk to each other.”

I do not share her view or reasoning on this, but to be fair, let me explain a bit further.

What she is really saying is that many people here have accents and varying levels of English, and it is quite common to meet someone who does not have a great command of English, but still we all are able to buy our groceries, get a taxi ride, go to the corner store and eat a great meal. She feels she fits in nicely and does not want to rock the boat. She doesn’t have to stress herself out in speaking unnecessary English and all is forgiven if she makes a mistake.

I agree that people should not stress out about a mistake here or there, as the important thing overall is being understood. But I also had another message to give her.

Here is what I told her. It’s not about accents or level of language proficiency. It’s about human-to-human communication skill. The person who is comfortable smiling, chatting, reading other people’s emotions and body language etc. is in a much better position to be happier and more successful in this or any other city. Those with excellent communication skills transcend language. I will say that again. Those with excellent (interpersonal) communication skills transcend language. They are charming, witty, memorable, viewed as friendly, confident, attractive and a positive influence on another person’s (perhaps boring) day.

Think about your actions the next time you are buying something or have an everyday errand to run. Do you want people to be kind and friendly to you? Are you being kind and friendly to them, regardless?

On a final note, I would like those of you living in a city that celebrates the Christmas season (regardless of religious background or beliefs) to notice how the majority of people tend to be a bit kinder and friendlier to each other during this season (not including Boxing Day shoppers, of course! Ha ha…). Why is that?

To steal a line from a famous Christmas carol – “If everyday could be like Christmas, what a wonderful world it would be!”

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Bookend Your Voice Messages

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This means leave your (full) name and number clearly at the beginning and ending of your messages.

Sometimes we are in a hurry and forget the little things that really help communication. Or we are just simply used to speaking quickly as our natural voice. And sometimes we forget that cell phones and the like cut out at inopportune times, leaving the listener with an incomplete message. This happened to me recently when someone left me a voice message that was very quietly spoken, and unfortunately, with an incomplete phone number. If that person would have ‘bookended’ her message to me, there would have been 2 chances for me to hear her name and number. So here is today’s lesson:

Speak at a medium volume, medium speed when recording your voice messages, both on your own machine or when leaving a message on someone else’s. And say your name and number at the beginning and end. Being an excellent communicator is about taking responsibility to assist your listeners as well as being a clear speaker.

Are You on a Confidence Tightrope?

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Do you know how confident you should act in your presentations?

Robert Herjavec (one of the VCs – Venture Capitalists –  from the TV shows “Dragons’ Den” and “Shark Tank”) was recently asked this question: “What’s the most common fundraising flaw you see in entrepreneurs?”
His answer: “Overconfidence, bordering on arrogance. Or lack of confidence, bordering on insecurity.”

As a Confidence Coach and a believer in the power of confident communications, I know how hard it is to walk this tightrope. You don’t want to fall right? So what should we do? Well the answer for communication is the same answer for the real situation – KEEP YOUR BALANCE.

You must be confident in your presentations. If you are trying to convince others to believe in you or follow you, you must give them a reason and a feeling to do so. That is right, both logical and emotional reasons must be there. You need to be passionate about what you are saying (or selling) and you need to have hard facts and figures to back up your beliefs.

A confident presenter is challenged less than an unsure or meek one, even on Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank. When a confident person handles the first challenging question successfully, smoothly and convincingly, there is less desire to challenge again and again.

To be confident you must believe in what you are saying, have data to back it up and be comfortable talking about it to others. Confidence comes from competence, and vice versa. Make sure you prepare well.

Keeping your balance means that you must be confident to succeed, especially in North America, and you must balance that with logical reasons so that it is not just your opinion.

For example:

“I think you should buy this soft drink machine because I think it is the best value for money and we will get a lot of revenue from it” could be transformed into:

“To get the best value for our money and a three to one return on investment, choose this soft drink machine. 2007 statistics show that there is a growing increase in soft drink machine use when a variety of drinks are offered, and I strongly believe this is the way forward for our company. “

In this example we do not start out with our opinion. We start out with compelling facts and numbers that the logical brain can absorb. Then passion is displayed. It sounds more confident, doesn’t it?

Confident Verbal Communications

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Our Saturday workshop was a blast! Here is a sample of what was taught to help our participants communicate their confidence. Enjoy.

Even though only 7% of our communication is verbal, which is our word choice, phrases and expressions used etc. we still need to acknowledge the impact of what we say on others.

A confident person knows when he or she is good at something, and trusts themselves at all times. They know that the words we say affect our belief system. Not cocky, not meek, a confident person simply states the truth.

Now you finish these sentences with confidence!

I am…

I will…

I trust that…

I can…

I’m able to…

Yes, that’s correct. I am…

I trust you. You can do it. I know because…

We also sometimes use ‘softeners’ when we want to be more diplomatic, professional, non-aggressive and non-offensive. A confident person never wants to offend anyone, and is not easily offended either. They always take the higher ground. They are expert managers of conflict. They are excellent listeners and have developed their empathy levels. They have no need to assert their strength to put others down. They can defend themselves politely, yet firmly. They do not argue. They discuss.

Some example softeners are below.

Would you mind…?

Could you please…?

Could I ask…?

Is it possible to…?

I’m wondering if…?

How do you feel about…?

I’m curious to know…

Sometimes changing a small phrase in your sentence or question will make all the difference between being a confident communicator or a wishy-washy or even offensive speaker. Remember that the next time someone tries to bully you.

Speakers Gold talent Search

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I recently was invited to attend a local speaking competition, held on June 21st, here in Toronto. I was in the audience of about 40 people, and there were 10 speakers, who each had only 3 minutes to express themselves in a way that impacted the audience, and their 3 judges.

The first 2 speakers had English as a second language, and so right off the bat I want to say how brave they are! Public speaking is never easy, even for seasoned pros like me, but to use a second language? Wow. My hat goes off to them.

I noticed a lot of speakers were talking about overcoming their own personal tragedies in life, and using it to empower or motivate others. This reminded me more of a Life Coaching seminar, of which I have attended a few. (Studying Life Coaching actually brought me to starting Communication Coaching…).

Effective public speaking has certain rules of engagement, like getting the audience involved, building rapport with them, eye contact, moving around the stage, and building sympathy or empathy. Although I felt at times that some of the participants were ‘guilt-tripping’ us in the audience, perhaps that was just due to their 3 minute time constraint. Had this event been billed as “Speaking of Courage” or the like, it would have been perfect.

Nevertheless I want to say that everyone did a great job, and there were a few outstanding speakers, which I really enjoyed watching. I wondered to myself if they get nervous like I do, right before they go on stage? I’ll never know for sure, because a good public speaker always remembers the golden rule: It’s okay to be nervous. Expect it. But never let them see you sweat!

For more information on Speakers Gold, visit them here: www.speakersgold.com

Have a great week and enjoy your upcoming long weekend! Happy Canada Day! (July 1st for those out of the country…)

The 7Cs of Effective Communication

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I am a big fan of themes! If you have been reading my blog and newsletters for a while now, you will notice that I like to use acronyms, abbreviations, and cute ways to remember things. This is due to my need and dare I say ability to take detailed information from various sources and condense it into an easy way to remember it, so that I can use it when I need it. Today we are travelling the ‘7Cs’ of effective communication.

Control – Control yourself, your body language, pace, tone, etc., and control the audience or listener. Control the topic and avoid big digressions, control your emotions, control the venue if possible so as to be in a comfortable area and room.

Conversational – do not lecture, do not whine, and do not get angry or over-emotional. Have a conversation. No matter what the other person or people do, in a meeting, negotiation, when a customer is complaining, etc. keep control and keep it conversational. This means back and forth, active listening, and not getting over-emotional for no good reason. Do not get sucked into an argument that will harm your image or relationships later.

Confidence – people are less likely to challenge you and more likely to follow you if you present yourself with confidence. Your voice should be loud enough and at a controlled pace, your body language should be strong (but not stiff) with a straight back, meaningful gestures, great eye contact, etc. and the content of your speech, presentation or point to be made should also come from a confident place, i.e. you know what you are talking about! Do not think that BS will work all the time with everyone. When you have researched and prepared well, you feel confident, and you can let that shine through!

Competency – you have to back it up. Whatever you are saying or selling, be not only prepared but able to back it up. You must be good at what you are suggesting others follow you on as well, if you are asking for a leadership role. Why should I listen to you? Answer that question before you meet the group.

Calm – If you are calm, they are more likely to both calm down others (if agitated) and to continue to communicate calmly. Control your breathing, pace, volume, etc. in a relaxed way. Use rhythmic gestures as well. Nothing fast and darting. Think yoga movements!

Clear – Do not beat around the bush. State exactly what you want people to do, or why they should follow you. Don’t let people guess your meaning. State clearly your objectives or desires, and people will respect you for your leadership and ideas. Please still include the 3Ps (Polite, Professional, Positive) when you deliver your message though.

Concise – Do not waste valuable time. Say what you have to say and ask what you need from your listener or team, and then let them go. When giving suggestions or advice or orders, give them with appropriate details delivered in a short, concise way.

I hope that you have learned how to use these 7Cs and can start implementing them today in your personal and professional communications. Any questions? Please do not hesitate to get in touch with me. Thank you all!