Tag Archives: writing

The Complexity and Power of Words

The interesting thing about words is that they have different meanings to different people, even when using the same language, due to the way we process, filter and finally understand information. What does a word mean to you? Does it mean the exact same thing to every member of your family, community, country or language group? You see, words have two meanings; denotation and connotation. Denotation is the literal meaning or dictionary meaning of a word. Connotation is the emotional impact a word may have on you. We will talk about denotation first.

If a person does not know what a word means, they can ask a trusted source or simply look it up online or in a resource book, like a standard dictionary. It is very difficult to argue against the denotation of a word, as the meaning is supposed to be standard. Having said that, we must be aware of cultural differences and idiomatic use of words, depending on the region where the word is used. In other words, Spanish is different in the many Spanish-speaking countries, just as English is different in the English-speaking countries, and so goes the rule for many other languages as well. Denotation just got more complicated! Have no fear, because a good dictionary will indicate the many uses of a single word, and often tell you if it is a regional expression or interpretation. For example, the word ‘lift’ in British English is used as a noun where North Americans would say ‘elevator’, but at the same time, both British and North American English speakers use the verb form of the word lift in the same way: to raise up something, perhaps carry. As most of you know, there are many differences between British and N. American English, and it can be fun and practical to learn them.

Now that we have sorted out denotation, let’s talk about connotation. As stated previously, this is the emotional impact a word has on you. It can be positive, negative or neutral. Here is an example: In British English the word ‘scheme’ is typically neutral, and is used like we North Americans use the word ‘plan’. For example, B.A.’s “Frequent Flights Scheme”. But in North American English, the word ‘scheme’ typically has a negative connotation to it, and is often used to talk about evil plans of villains or the ideas of a bank robber or other criminal, etc. That is why we would use a different phrase, like “Air Miles Reward Plan” instead.

Finally, the connotation of a word can be very personal, not just cultural. For example, in my mind, the word ‘puppy’ is positive, the word ‘death’ is negative and the word ‘pen’ is neutral. Those emotional feelings are based on my childhood, my culture, my language, my life experience up to this point, and other parts of knowledge I may have about those words. However, another person may feel that ‘puppy’ is a negative word, if they feel puppies are dirty, destructive and always biting people, or simply neutral if they do not care for dogs or pets in general. A person may feel that ‘death’ is a positive word if they are ready to die and are looking forward to the afterlife. Another person may feel neutral about the word death, as it is just part of the life cycle. And finally, the word pen which is neutral to me could be positively charged to someone who loves writing poetry or an author who earns money by writing, or it could be negatively charged by someone who was once stabbed with a pen! (Truly mightier than the sword!)  🙂

Words are complex and powerful, and carry different meanings and feelings to different people. Choose your words carefully.

FYI – In Japan

Do you know this shorthand? FYI?
It means “For Your Information.”

It’s a great way to save time and space in text mail and email.
We even can use it in actual speech!
E.g. “John, I’ll see you at 6pm for dinner, and FYI, it’s your turn to pick up the tab!”  (Pay the bill).

I am currently in Japan right now, enjoying my time in Tokyo, Yokohama, and soon Shizuoka and Kyoto.
I’ll post again soon.

Thanks for reading!

A Sandwich Needs Bread Too!

I am surprised by the number of emails I get where a new contact i.e. a stranger is emailing me for the first time and they just send me a one-liner, with no polite introduction or sign-off. For example:

Hi,

I need to improve my English – what should I do?

Or

Hello,

How can coaching help me? Please explain.

Now I can appreciate that, as the old idiom states, Time is Money. And I realize that in some busy offices or cultures there is little time for ‘fluff’ and people speak directly to each other. HOWEVER in international business communications, it is vital to learn how the other party expects to be communicated with and on what level of formality or politeness to use, especially for the first contact.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not angry or personally offended by these short emails. I can read between the lines and realize that these are people who genuinely are asking for my help, so that they can achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives. I appreciate that and am happy to respond. But my job is to teach communication skills, so today the message is this: Don’t forget the bread when making your sandwich!

When we eat a delicious sandwich we savour the meat or cheese or whatever garnishes are inside, but we need the bread to hold it together from top to bottom, right?

The same is true in polite, professional, positive communications, even emails.

The bread is the polite intro and ending. For example, let’s improve the above emails:

Hi Ric,

I am happy to receive your newsletters, and have learned some interesting communication tips from you. However as English is not my first language, I need to improve it. What should I do?

Any suggestions or resources would be appreciated.

Best regards,

XXXXXXX

Or

Hello Sir,

I am intrigued by your website and broadcasts, and am interested to improve my personal communications, however I am not really sure how coaching can really help me personally. I wonder, could you explain the coaching process in a bit more detail to me, or send me a resource to read?

Thank you very much,

XXXXXXXX

By using the sandwich analogy it serves as a quick reminder to be polite in the beginning and end of your communications, whether speaking or writing, especially when you are communicating with a new person. You want to set the right tone and make a winning first impression.

Thank you and have a good lunch!

Talk to Trusted Friends and Mentors

As a Communication Coach I get the opportunity to meet and work with people from all walks of life. Sometimes what they are lacking, in addition to “ideal” interpersonal or professional communication skills, is a person or two in their life who they can ‘bounce things off of’, before they go ahead and make a decision that involves others.

Often I fill in for that roll. People ask me if what they are saying matches what they intended to say. They want my opinion on their email or proposal before they send it out. Others ask me to check their speeches (in written form) to see if they can’t be spiced up a bit. The list goes on.

I am honoured and happy to help in these requests, and it reminds me that all of us, even communication coaches, need a trusted friend, family member or mentor to bounce things off of first before communicating the idea to others.

I am lucky I guess, as I have in my ‘circle of influence’ a pool of knowledge to draw from on subjects such as entrepreneurialism, teaching English as second language, marketing, the H.R. profession and so much more. I talk to these few but oh so important people often about my ideas, conflicts, business ambitions and goals in life.

My advice to you today is to ask yourself who can be in your ‘circle of influence’ to help you with your communications. Who do you know and trust to bounce ideas off, to check your emails for content and appropriate messages, or discuss your interview or meetings. They may not call themselves ‘communication coaches’ but they certainly can offer valuable insight and life experience.

Go ahead, don’t be shy – bug them, and bug them often. Just make sure you return the favour to them!

Have a great week!

Further to your request…

“Further to your request, I have attached my resume.”
“Further to your request, I am faxing you the contract immediately.”
“Further to your request, I am happy to join you for lunch.”

Which sentence does not fit in? If you said the last one, you are correct. This is a great expression to use, but only in the office. And it is only used in writing and emailing, not in speaking over the phone or in person. It is an older, more formal business English expression, and a good one.

My advice is to use it often, but not always with the same person. If you do, you may sound ‘canned.’ Understand that expression? It means fake and too well-prepared.

If your job requires a lot of business correspondence (i.e. writing) then it is a good idea to have a list of useful expressions (like this one) or even templates available to you on your computer or at your desk. That will help you be more efficient and sound professional!

Just don’t forget to leave it at the office!

That is all for now. Have a good weekend!

“What is NLP and how can I use it to improve my communications?”

This was a valid question given to me recently by one of my coachees. At first NLP can seem (and sound) daunting and scientifically complicated, but I can help you simplify it and use it everyday.

First of all, NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. If you are thinking “brain-language training” you are correct. NLP assists in re-programming or re-conditioning your sub-conscious responses to certain words and situations. Actually it has been around for a while in the coaching world. Richard Bandler and John Grinder founded it in the mid-seventies, heavily based on hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson’s work.

Do you know the name Anthony (Tony) Robbins? This self-help life coach and motivational speaker (although he hates to be called that) uses the same techniques, but calls them neuro-associative conditioning. I remember seeing Tony Robbins live at a Toronto conference last year. He was amazing, and certainly knew how to ‘condition’ the audience with excitement and energy!

Okay, history lesson over – here is the NLP lesson for today:

…because…

This pattern is useful to help influence, persuade or sell things. Why? Because we are conditioned since childhood to believe whatever answer comes after ‘because’ must be the truth. Think about your childhood. When you did not know an answer to a question, you asked your parents, your teacher, your religious leader. When you asked Why… they answered Because… and it was good enough for you. So even today, as an adult, we are still conditioned to accept the reasons given after this key word as truth. Here is an example of it in use:

Taking your communication skill-set to the next level is beneficial to you because you are aware of the strong need for soft skills in today’s workforce.

OR

Because you know excellent personal communications will benefit your career, you will sign up for Ric’s communication training immediately. (ha ha!)

That is it for now. This is just one example of an NLP word-pattern. As we go along I will introduce more to you, or you can do some research on your own. Now go and practice your new pattern-word on someone, and please check out the coaching programs on this site if you think it will benefit you or someone you know.

Thank you all!

PS – for those of you using English as a second language, I have almost finished creating a new ebook on English idioms, and how to use them wisely. Stay tuned for this new resource.

Thanks again to all of you!

Accents & Emails

Did you know that a person’s email style is often as culturally-specific as their accent?

Some times we come to think of English as a standardized tool that everyone is using for business, travel, pleasure etc. and we forget that it is a living, evolving stylized language. We obviously can see this (rather “hear this”) in the different regional accents all over the world.

There really is no such thing as “American” English. Does that mean the New York accent or the Boston one? The Californian or Texan? Did you realize that even in Canada, a country with a relatively small population (almost 35 million) that we have regional accents? Some newcomers take a while to pick up on this. For example there’s the broken, choppy French-Canadian accent, the tight and enunciated Toronto-business accent, the typical relaxed and casual small-town accent, the native Canadian or Inuit accent, the East coast accents…etc.

When we write emails our choice of vocabulary comes out as well as our attitude. With friends and family this is fine but in business there needs to be a professional tone and word choice – without going over the top with vocabulary from the stock exchange every time!  🙂

This brings me to my final note. Please be aware that the Americans and Canadians typically write short, direct emails in business, and expect the same from you. Do not be offended! It is actually viewed as being polite not to waste other people’s precious time. But remember that the British typically are still writing as they speak – longer drawn out “indirect” speech, so their emails are longer. Often they too think that the North Americans are being rude or lazy, but it’s just a difference of culture!

Until next time, consider your recipient before pressing the “send” button!